Could use some suggestions

format?

rhymed? metered?

What sort of audience is your mother? Would she appreciate something abstract and modern, or traditional and emotional?

Something to make her laugh, cry, ponder, and warm and tingly all over. You see she has had to fight all her life, from a young girl whom burried her father and mother at the age of 16, traveled to the States from Canada at 18, being married to an abusive drunk ( my father) for 15 years, raising 5 kids on her own, with pride, not accepting charity from anyone. She had a few peacefull years, met my step-father and fell in love. Seven years ago, she had her first heart attack and has had other medical problems since, from heart to stroke to cervical cancer, seizures, diabetes, to now lung and bone cancer, through it all she battled these as if they were a person threatning her life. She is a true Warrior in every sense of the word. Her love for God and family is steadfast never wavering nor questioning. I want to honor her and with words is the only way I know how. Does that help? I feel like I'm out of my depths here, but I will try...

well, why don't you write a sketch?

Just really simple lines. First ones that pop out of your head. Don't have to rhyme, don't have have meter, just write some lines down and we'll help you turn those lines in to a poem.

Just pretend you're talking to your mother. What would you say?

I would tell her,,,,, She never failed, it was her children at times that failed her, every word, every lesson taught was learned, though at times she felt we didn't listen. She has been the constant in my life, never one to turn aside in times of bad decisions or mistakes. She gave of her time selfishly, and at times if she was, she earned it. Her sacrifices in life were not in vain, she leaves behind a story of faith,honor, battles won and lost, pain and peace, and love.

Top it off with a memorable event:

Some day or some hour that you've shared with your mother which both of you have deep memories about.

the best poems just come into your head and write themselves. but you can still write good poems without having such luck.

the best way I have found, is to

1 - write down in plain English all the different concepts you think are imporant about the topic, write them on different lines, if they sound clever thats good...but they dont necessarily have to

2 - make sure you have enough topics to write the poem about, you dont want to just keep repeating yourself in different ways

3 - just start arranging the lines, and thinking of alternate ways of saying the same thing..depending on what kind of poem you want

I wish I was better at this, but thanks to all for all the great suggestions. I will consider a beginning, that is of course where all things start, and post it as soon as it comes to mind. With help I just might be able to do this....

I often start with an image, and you can get better at this when you are used to doing it. A metaphor - a bird for freedom, or a flower for beauty - and you can use words from one area of ife in another, and jump them around. It's fun just juggling with words, once you have the words you like around you. Think how effective these lines are instead of 'Day broke'
Awake, for morning in the bowl of night
Has flung the stone that puts the stars to flight.
Yet the image is mixed - a bowl and a thrown stone? but somehow it's effective.
Just using the colour of words to conjure a wordpicture of you mother and her glowing self, her sacrifices...
And remember, it doesn't have to be long to be effective. Small is beautiful!

Thanks Clary. I asked mom a few questions, I would like to some how get them down on paper and read at her wake. I asked not in any order:

Why can't I come with you?
Not this time child,
Where will you go?
Everywhere,
Will you be alone?
No, never alone
Are you scarred?
Not the way you think, I fear for the ones I leave behind, that they will forget all that I taught them, forget what it is that they have to sacrifice to be with me again. Never forget, never faulter, remember your King, fear and love him, walk with him, HE is mine and I his, only through him will we be together again.
Will you be able to come back?
In your dreams, always, and someday for eternity.
Why do you have to go, why can't he let you stay?
He calls, he has need of me,
I have need of you.
Don't be selfish child, I'm needed for greater things.
I want to go with you mother,,
Not yet child, not yet.

Now, if I can get these words into a beautiful poem, I will have honored my mother. Any suggestions?

Here's my suggestion:

lines 1-8 makes a very good introduction, like so, just a little re-wording to make it structural.

Can I come?
Not this time child,
Where you going?
Everywhere,
Won't you be lonely?
No, never lonely.
Are you scared?
I fear for you. <-------- This is a personal poem from you to your mother, so "you" instead of those she left behind carries much more personality.
--------------------------
Will you be able to come back?
In your dreams, always, and someday, for eternity.
Why do you have to go, why can't he let you stay?
He calls, he has need of me,


I don't quite understand line 9.

You'll forget what I taught you?
Never. I'll sacrifice everything to be with you.

----------------------------
I assume the King refers to Jesus and not Elvis.
----------------------------

I'll never forget, never falter. He is my king.
I fear and love him, I walk with him,
HE is yours, mine, and we are his,
My love for him bridges my love for you.

But...
I have need of you as well
Don't be selfish child, I'm needed for greater things.
I want to go with you mother,
Not yet child, not yet.


Restructure it a bit, come up with a theme, figure out if you want your poem to rhyme or meter, and you should have an excellent poem.

Thanks Mithie, I never got the chance to read mom the poem, she left us on July 2. I feel so alone, But I'm sure I'm not the first nor the last to go through this. But thanks for your help.

I think you are already on the right track. Some of what you have posted here IS poetry.

Coming up with a method not relative to form or meter is a good idea; your list of questions is an excellent idea.

The way I generally begin is to freewrite first, brainstorm. Write down whatever words or images come to mind in consideration of the subject. The more the better, because you will go back an organize, and take out what you don't like.

As far as form goes, there are no rules for poetry! But a good trick for beginning poets is to use anaphora--use repetition. Try writing in couplets--pairs of lines.

Also, as a frame of reference, you might take a look at Alan Ginsberg's "Kaddish", a tribute to his mother. It is super intense, and all over the place, but it demonstrates poetic voice without any rigid form. I'll try to find a link if I can.

Here's a link to Kaddish:

http://www.poets.org/poems/poems.cfm?prmID=1086

The important thing is just that you believe and feel what you write.

Good luck!

Geez,

I'm sorry, I just read your last post, I feel like a moron.

Best to you and your family.