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please rate this song

 
 
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2004 01:29 am
please tell me what you think , need to know what the general opinion is as soon as possible


walking through the alleys
ridden by volatile intentions
along these dark haunts
changing of my destination
mind is set on drive

2nd verse
swarming workhouse trash
moving with the setting sun
psychedellic night lights
luminous trance of satisfaction
irreality of times that we're alive


-=Fill=-

chorus
are we breathing , are we even living?
the clear night sky lets me know im alive , tonight
please tell me im breathing , that im alright
as we venture on with eyes so bright
are we breathing , are we even living?

Solo

tonight will be the night
of the dark princes's reign
with his grunge princess too
painted the fence with coloured circles
yesterday will seem so far away by today

-=Fill-=

Chorus

Solo

Is this the way?
Can't find the light
in this world of pain

thanks
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 619 • Replies: 4
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Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2004 04:12 am
&nbsp&nbsp&nbspIt seems to have the right amount of angst. I assume it's accompanied by the appropriate level of screaming vocals, ear-piercing guitar riffs and mindless drum poundings associated with what passes for music today. If so, it fits the pattern rather than breaks the mold, but nevermind me, I am too old to be rating your music.

&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp My music was frowned upon by the old as well, and it was the best ever created by the human mind, but then, you know of Mr. Morrison's work and I can't say anything more than that.

&nbsp&nbsp&nbspAll you can do is sing your song as your song. The people either drink it up or they look the other way. Either way, all you can do is sing your song as your song.

Joe
0 Replies
 
tellmemore
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2004 07:37 am
abt ur song.
greetings,
it seems u have put a lot of effort to it. but i guess few words used are a bit too harsh compared to some of the simple words that are put along with it. for eg. the words like 'volatile', 'trash' and 'psychedellic' sound very jarring and harsh when used alongside the words like 'destination', 'night' and 'satisfaction', which are very sober words.

still, the passion of the song is felt truely. carry on wth the good work.
bye,
TMM.
0 Replies
 
Harper
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2004 07:51 pm
Nice effort. I would rewrite the folowing line, it sounds trite:


"as we venture on with eyes so bright"

"Eyes so bright" to me sounds trite and amateurish.
0 Replies
 
Riderofthestorm
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Jun, 2004 10:26 pm
ok cheers for tips
0 Replies
 
 

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