Government

Great quotes Chatoyant!

Suppose you were an idiot. Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. - Suppose you were an idiot. Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote."
George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)


"The more I see of Congress, the more I admire my dogs."
Alphonse de Lamartine (1790-1869)

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on
what to have for dinner.
-- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is
like a man standing in a bucket trying to lift himself up by its handle.
-- Winston Churchill

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, but
which debt he proposes to pay off with your money!
-- G. Gordon Liddy

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul always can depend on the
support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car
keys to teenage boys.
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to
live at the expense of everybody else.
-- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it
costs when it's free!
-- P.J. O'Rourke

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases If it moves, tax it! If it keeps moving, regulate it! And if
it stops moving, subsidize it!
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)

If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal.
If you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative.
If you want government to intervene everywhere, you're a moderate.
If you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're an extremist.
-- Joseph Sobran, a former Editor of the National Review (1995)

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as
possible from one group of the citizens and giving it to the other.
--Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean
politics won't take an interest in you.
-- Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in
session.
-- Mark Twain (1866)

Talk is cheap - except when Congress does it.
-- (Unknown)

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal -- a happy appetite
at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the
blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of
misery.
-- Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the
taxidermist leaves the skin!
-- Mark Twain

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first
things to be bought and sold are the legislators.
--P.J. O'Rourke

The ultimate result of shielding men from the consequences of their
folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

There is only one basic human right -- the right to do as you damn
well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty -- the duty to
accept the consequences of your own actions.
-- P.J. O'Rourke (1993)

I don't create jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-- Edward Langley (1928-1995)

All these things refer to any government in the world, from Swedish to North Korean. All these quotes show that their authors are witty people. Let us assume that they have convinced everyone that the government (any) is a bunch of corrupt idiots. But do they have any alternative to propose?

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants. - - Alben W. Barkley

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. - - Mort Sahl

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. - - H.L. Mencken

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run down. - - Aneurin Bevan

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election. - - Bismarck

Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. - - Benjamin Franklin

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies. - - Groucho Marx

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead. - - Rosten, Leo C.

A religious conservative is a fanatic about a dead radical. - - Unknown

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club. - - Dave Barry

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. - - Mark Twain

The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations. - - David Friedman

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. - - Lester B. Pearson

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as we do when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - - Will Rogers

A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done for the first time. - - Vanderlip, Frank

The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. - - Mark Twain

A fool and his money are soon elected. - - Will Rogers

Politics, noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - - Ambrose Bierce

Reform is affirmative, conservatism negative; conservatism goes for comfort, reform for truth. - - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you. - - Will Rogers

The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all. I like a little rebellion now and then. - - Thomas Jefferson

In all history there is no war which was not hatched by the governments, the governments alone, independent of the interests of the people, to whom war is always pernicious even when successful. - - Leo Tolstoy

Men in authority will always think that criticism of their policies is dangerous. They will always equate their policies with patriotism, and find criticism subversive. - - Henry Steele Commager

The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it. - - P. J. O'Rourke



Now if the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms comes to disarm you and they are bearing arms, resist them with arms. Go for a head shot; they're going to be wearing bulletproof vests. - - G. Gordon Liddy

I wouldn't waste the 25 cents to buy the cartridge that would propel the bullet . . . I despise him.
- G. Gordon Liddy, on former Nixon aide John Dean

One more series of witty and accurate criticism on any democratically installed government possible. But what are the alternatives? Anarchy? Islamic Republic? Military junta? Nazi regime? North Korean-style Communism?

This Forum isn't Politics or International Affairs, its Quotes, the place where we put witty one-liners.