Graduation Speech Help!

Hi, I saw someone else posted their graduation speech and got a lot of great reviews. I actually need to submit this for review to my principal by tomorrow. I am doing the speech with another classmate. I'm focusing on the past, she's focusing on the future. I tried to make it funny with a lot of in jokes (that are still understandable for the most part to other people) and have it be semi-meaningful. It has to be under 5 minutes I think. Please, read and critique. I'll take whatever insults you find appropriate!

"So, we're graduating. Finally. I've been here since 2nd grade. I know Amanda has been here since preschool. If you added up all the years the entire senior class has been at ISM, you'd get… well, a big number. True, we may be only 22 out of the 500 some students at ISM, but I'm sure everyone would agree that we rule the school. We've been here the longest, we've seen the most, and we know better than anyone else how to survive at ISM. It is for this reason that I, as a senior, have devised a set of guidelines for the benefit of future generations?-something to follow for the rest of their ISM experience. So, without further ado, I give you the Six Commandments of the ISM Senior.

Commandment One: Respect the Elements
Our seniors have always been fearless. We never shy away from the forces of water or gravity. Unfortunately, this has caused several misadventures worth mentioning. I'm sure Eric will never "accidentally" fall into a swimming pool again. And I know that Sean, Rajiv, and William will never forget how comfortable Mrs. Schiller's long underwear is, as they were forced to wear it when their boat capsized in the lake.

Commandment Three: Remember to Serve Others
This lesson has been taught, extensively to some, in our own library. Whether it was due to chewing gum or skipping chemistry, every senior has earned a period of community service in the library. This service has given seniors a great review of the names of authors of the books they are arranging, not to mention the effective upper-arm workout of scrubbing tables. And it introduced some seniors to a part of the school that they had never before visited.

Commandment Four: Remember Those Who are Gone
Over the years, we've lost several fellow students as well as teachers. Let us take a moment to remember the lessons taught by the teachers of earlier years. We will always remember Mr. Segrave-Daly, who enriched our minds with poetry and yoga. And we will never forget our 8th grade science teacher, Mrs. Harding, who taught us the nutritional benefit of eating leaves off of trees, alternative writing utensils if we happen to forget our pencils, and the dangers of putting plastic spoons on a hot Bunsen burner.

Commandment Five: Honor thy English Teacher
I say this not only because she has the power to fail me before I get my diploma, but also because she has earned it. She has stood up for us on countless occasions, she helped us find the perfect location for lunch on our senior retreat, and although we may tend to aggravate her… a lot, we all love her. So, thank you, Mrs. Edwards.

Commandment Six: Never Surrender
Someone once told us that our seniors have a lot of spunk. And it's true. We do not face any injustice with meekness and docility. We fight back. And our fearless leader in these fights has been Malina, who has shown us, through her relentless pursuit against unfair policies and super-long vocab tests (not to mention her own personal struggle against republicans), that if something's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting for rabidly.

Commandment Seven: Know Thine Own Value
I save this one for last because I believe it is the most important. When I ask teachers why they like ISM, they do not say, as some might expect, because of the highly efficient copy machine. They say they love the students. Believe it or not, you have made this school a better place. In just the last year, our classmates have created a mock trial team, organized a prom, gone to the State Math Meet, and ruled over the entire school. You are pretty amazing. Wherever you go next year, don't forget it.

So there you have it. The Six Commandments of an ISM Senior. Juniors, take note, I'll be checking in to make sure you're following them. And seniors, remember this as well. We've confronted the obstacles of high school, and we've always come out on top. Let us face college the same way as high school, with the same perseverance and strength. And let us say to it the same thing we all shouted as we faced our senior finals: bring it on.

Extra commandment I wanted to put in but made it too long:
Commandment One: Reap Thy Benefits
Between the studying and the SAT's and the college applications, this year has been hard work. However, we have seen that with extra responsibilities come extra benefits, benefits that we have all used, sometimes to a fault. We can thank Meghan for redefining the term "business casual". Whenever the cafeteria has run out of hot chocolate, we all know that Saloni is to blame. And who hasn't snuck out an extra day a week to run over to Chipolte?"


That's it. Any suggestions to improve. As of right now, it is still a bit too long.