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Sat 5 Jun, 2004 05:11 pm
This arrived among other things in my E-Mail today. Whether they are truly Will Rogers quotes or not I do not know. Nevertheless I thought they were worthwhile passing along.
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage the United States has ever known.
Enjoy the following quotes:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman, neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones who learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence.
9. Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. AND FINALLY: After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
AND, ABOUT GROWING OLDER:
First, Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second, The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third, Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth, When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth, You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth, I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh, One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth, One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth, Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth, Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And finally, if you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
I've been a lifelong Rogers fan. I have a 33 1/3 lp of him deep in my collection somewhere. I hope others have quotes of his to add.
I absolutely adore number 12: "When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."
Did I ever tell you about the time I met George Bush...
I think that #'s 3, 4, and 11 are very appropiate.
Lets just say that all are ingenious and leave it at that.
A personal favorite Rodgersism:
"While it is true we have the best politicians money can buy, we should be eternally thankful we get nowhere near the government we pay for"
Another:
"Our government is growing to meet the needs of an ever-expanding government".
And one more:
"I belong to no organized political party; I'm a Democrat"
Old Will would be right at home in today's political circus, methinks.