Random observations

But yeah I mean, Robert is right, it is a general thing. Not the braying ass thing, necessarily - though this one guy in this group struck me as so similar to the american blowhard "talkshow" host type that it struck me, cause Ive never seen a European behave like that - but just, loudness in itself. I had to get used to it with Anastasia, who in a pub would always just be louder than any of my friends. Or last night in Tuzrakter, which is a loud place itself, live DJ playing, you kind of have to shout or sit in the part at the back to be able to chat than just shout random things at each other, and still this one American girl could be heard above everyone else ("oh my gooood!"). I didnt mind then though, because, you know, it's Tuzrakter, when you go there at midnight you go there to be clubbing / pubbing. But in other places it can be really jarring.

Kids though, re what Craven said - Hungarian kids seem way quieter than Dutch ones, which is a little disconcerting for us when my sis and nephews come over - like, what are we doing wrong? But on the other hand, you just dont see them as much, which I think is kind of a pity. Like in Holland, in summer, you have lots of kind of hip bars or cafes with terraces or at city festivals or what not, where young parents - the type who'd have been clubbing themselves 7 years earlier - have their kids run free, and I think it's cool. You don't seem to have that here, with the lone exception of the Kertem garden pub in the City Park.

I dunno, Hungarians (or Hungarian mothers..), as soon as they have kids, just retreat from going-out life and lock themselves in house and playground? Or something? May have to do with money - kids cost money and there's not a lot of it around here, specially now - or with culture - they're definitely more traditional (role patterns, conventions of how you're supposed to behave in this or that part of life, etc) here.

Like what?

Oh everything.

What is circumcision? Why does anyone do it? How common is it these days?

What was the Spanish Inquisition?

What is "wacky weed"?

What really happened during the French Revolution/ what is Bastille Day?

Etc., etc., etc.

Sounds like some hardcore mothering work for you. Glad it's the interesting kind.

Oh it was fun actually. We kept veering into TMI (the movie is really not appropriate for 8-year-olds), but it was just funny enough that we kept at it. ("Oh Jesus..." "Yes?" "What?" "What?" "What??" "What?" "Oh Jesus...!" Yes?")

M told me recently that she's just now understanding why Mr B and I laugh at certain places in the movies we used to watch with them when they were kids. Mel Brooks movies are great for that.

SonofEva has reached the age (15) where going to movies with his parents is absolutely, totally not cool.

Watching them at home together, however, is still acceptable.

Ranting at the moon / confession time

I feel like i'm the butt of some mean-spirited joke. Here i am (=was, an hour ago), having an anxiety attack, feeling scared and lonely, sitting between the two people who mean the most to me - who are closer to me than anyone's been in five or ten years. And yet i feel i can not even turn to either of them for a hug.

Instead, at some point, i am clutching my knees while to the left, my best friend (plus..) is sitting on her newly official boyfriend's lap, and on my right, my ex (just five months ago my fiancee) is sitting on her new boyfriend's.

I feel like i've been an unwitting participant in some cruel larger-than-life game of musical chairs - at stake: everything - and i'm the one left standing.

I'm thirty-seven years old. The only two women who have gotten this close are both moving in with their new boyfriends this month. I am scared to ******* death.

That's rough Nimh. Time to get out from the middle.

Yeah, man. Truly sucks. I don't know what to tell you.
I know I'd be homicidal in that position.

I know about the scared part, at twenty years older than you, back then. Hang in there, nimh. Well, not in the middle, exactly, but as far as about being scared.

Just saw this... here's a virtual hug, a month late and inadequately virtual. Sounds like things may be looking up since then? New job, new people...


Meanwhile, came here to say that Katy Perry has filtered down to the elementary set as "I Kissed a Squirrel (And I Liked It)."

Damn Nimh...I only just saw this too.


I am so sorry.


I hope things have improved, at least a little, by now.



((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Nimh))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

When I got my Green Card in 2004, US border protection treated US citizens and us lawful permanent residents equally. Same waiting lines, same procedures, same everything. This policy was still in place in January 2009, on my last return to the US.

But not anymore. When I entered an hour ago today, all permanent residents were fingerprinted wholesale. Citizens were not. The US government, see, fingerprints citizens only if they are involved in crimes, or reasonably suspected to be so involved. Immigrants by contrast, including legal ones, are now collectively fingerprinted just for being, well, immigrants.

Xenophobic paranoia or laudable vigilance against terrorists? Whatever your view, the trend towards it seems to continue, not peter off, under the Obama administration.

For those who follow such things, there's been a lot of concern about searches at the border. The border is not considered to be inside the US, so different rules apply.

What an incredible waste of time and money given that they already have your fingerprints on file. Did you not have to submit them with your application?

Then again, perhaps they discard them, as they always made my husband pay to get them done again and again and again...

Well, hell. I missed this as well. That just sucks.

Dang, count me as another who's late to offer condolences. Here it is almost two months later, hope you're feeling better.

OMG, this is deeeeeeeeeeeevious...

OK, sozlet and Kay are bestbestbest friends. Since they're constantly begging to go to each others' houses, we've set up a standing playdate, that alternates -- first her house, then ours, etc. At least one day a week. We do other stuff too but that one day is written in stone (unless there's a doctor's appt. or something).

Sozlet got a phone call this morning from their mutual friend S. They were in a group of four last year, but now it's three of them in the same class (Kay, sozlet, S). I love S but (partly because) she's a competitive little smarty-pants. When she called this morning she asked if sozlet could come over today, the usual Kay-sozlet playdate day. Sozlet brought that up to her. S said that she'd already talked to Kay and she was coming over too. Sozlet (unprompted) said "did you talk to Kay's MOM about this or just Kay?" Sozlet was satisfied with the answer. OK, both Kay and sozlet at S's house today, fine.

There were some loose ends so I contacted Kay's mom directly just now. Yes, the plan is for Kay to go to S's house with sozlet -- because S called Kay AFTER she'd called sozlet, and Kay's mom only said yes because sozlet was already going!!!

It's a trap!