How to get out of a church / organized religion

The potential for enlightenment exists as in every living thing. As humans we are in the unique position to realize our true potential. A Buddha is a human being who has realized the supreme state of life. Check it out!

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shewolfnm wrote:

What are you preparing them for??? A longer bullett wound? Do you really think that telling people over a course of 4 months will make it easier? If it will then you are a lucky person. Most people would take that time to "try to save you". If you have all your ducks in a row and are positive that you want to tell everyone EVERYTHING you think.....do it. Procrastination only makes it harder to heal I think. But this isnt an easy decision. just that you are willing to do this is amazing. I truly wish you the best!

I don't know if I'll have the courage to just tell everyone like that, I guess I need a little time for that. And, you still didn't explain why procrasination makes it harder to heal!

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Phoenix32890 wrote:

Ionesco- IMO, it takes many years of searching and learning for a person to develop a mature life view. If a person has been brought up in a narrowly focused religion, it becomes more difficult to throw off the constraints of what has been inculcated to the person as a child.

I'm getting to understand that it takes a long time to gain maturity, I guess I still have plenty of that. You also say that because I was brought up in a narrowly focused religion, I might have more problems to throw off constrains and what I was inculcated as a child. I feel you on that, and I was wondering : How to differentiate with one's true sense of morals and of conduct (we all need one) and the morals that are imposed on us, by the church or anything. I guess that's a tricky question, and that I think that it's blurred and pretty much impossible to differentiate both, because we are all influenced by that and that while we construct our own identity. But, I'm curious to know what you think about it. Hehehe (I assume you're more mature and older than me!).

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And, you still didn't explain why procrasination makes it harder to heal!

The important thing is that you have made a clean break in your own mind, and you are sure of what you are doing. Understanding that you may get some negative reactions from family and friends, you need to be strong enough to weather the "slings and arrows". Any vaccillation that others perceive in you, will only enable them to persist more strongly in their attempts to sway you. If you show them, (in a respectful way) that your mind is made up, and "stick to your guns", there is little that they can do.

They may decide to reject you. I have no idea just how narrow they are in their views. If they do, you need to be at a point in your life where you are prepared for that, and can accept the rejection. Your own conscience is what really matters.

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How to differentiate with one's true sense of morals and of conduct (we all need one) and the morals that are imposed on us, by the church or anything.

I can only speak from my own experience. I am a big believer in not "throwing out the baby with the bathwater". There are certain moral tenets that I learned from my upbringing, which I still espouse. (why reinvent the wheel?) If there is something that you have learned from your birth religion that seems "right" to you, why discard it?Others I have completely discarded. The idea is for a person to think about the many issues that are involved in morality, understand the choices alternatives, and MAKE UP HIS OWN MIND.

The other important thing is to realize, that as you mature and grow, you may acquire knowledge that leads you to amend certain views. That is all part of developing a mature life view. That is also the difference between acquiring your morality from self reflection rather then accepting an entire static set of rules and regulations "wholesale" from a faith. Developing a morality that will serve you well in life is HARD WORK. It is not just handed to you, and you need to refine it as you grow in knowledge and experience.

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I assume you're more mature and older than me.

Yeah, I think that you can safely say that! :wink:

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lonesco, What I have learned over many years at looking at religion is that they all have their specialized dogmas. My philosophy of life is very simple, and is simplified into one statement; treat all living things with respect and dignity. Nothing else is needed to live a exemplary life on this planet.

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When I say that I think procrastination makes it harder to heal.. I dont think I am making my point very clear.. Embarrassed

soory about that. I tend to get really worked up when it comes to someone being / having trouble from a religious conflict.. only because my own experience took 5 years.
But... after my 'trial' was over , all I had left was this LOOOOOONG list of people, and things that i never wanted to happen and never wanted to talk to. I took so long in telling people about my decision that I probally beat myself up more then they did. You have to give the people you are going to tell time to 'heal' from what you say . And we all know that time is the best healer there is. If you are really wanting to have a good strong sit down conversation with these people about what is going on with you and why you are 'spreading you're wings' , how do you think that you can get that done little at a time? Do you have this planned out yet? In my experience, I tried to do just that and all i did was trip over my own words , and have to constantly fight the "" Im here to save you"" attitude I was getting from my family. If you want them to take you seriously , then treat it like a serious problem. Anything serious is delt with immediatly and with the utmost respect. Act like this is a fire alarm..... hurry up and get everyone out of the way.
Does that help? Or am i really making things hard? Im sorry if I am. I just know what it is like trying to 'sugar coat' something that is an extremely sensative subject for everyone and it was NOT the best way for me or my family. But , I dont know your family and I dont know you. Maybe the sugar coating is the best way to go ? Confused

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shewolfnm wrote:

When I say that I think procrastination makes it harder to heal.. I dont think I am making my point very clear.. soory about that. I tend to get really worked up when it comes to someone being / having trouble from a religious conflict.. only because my own experience took 5 years.
But... after my 'trial' was over , all I had left was this LOOOOOONG list of people, and things that i never wanted to happen and never wanted to talk to. I took so long in telling people about my decision that I probally beat myself up more then they did. You have to give the people you are going to tell time to 'heal' from what you say . And we all know that time is the best healer there is. If you are really wanting to have a good strong sit down conversation with these people about what is going on with you and why you are 'spreading you're wings' , how do you think that you can get that done little at a time? Do you have this planned out yet? In my experience, I tried to do just that and all i did was trip over my own words , and have to constantly fight the "" Im here to save you"" attitude I was getting from my family. If you want them to take you seriously , then treat it like a serious problem. Anything serious is delt with immediatly and with the utmost respect. Act like this is a fire alarm..... hurry up and get everyone out of the way.
Does that help? Or am i really making things hard? Im sorry if I am. I just know what it is like trying to 'sugar coat' something that is an extremely sensative subject for everyone and it was NOT the best way for me or my family. But , I dont know your family and I dont know you. Maybe the sugar coating is the best way to go ?

I understand you point and situation. I'll try to think about the sugar coating issue I guess...

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How to get out of a church / organized religion

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