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Fri 28 May, 2004 11:55 am
CHIMNEYS
We sit within our chimneys
Darkness mesmorises
The sky above us lest we notice
Looks down upon our twisted noses.
Cough, our mouths are open there!
We talk and shout, our lyrics savour
The part inside, innate our flavour
Reflectionise those words, don't waver...
Lungs can't break no more, in this moment
We rant against the cloud atonement
Its killing slowly, but we don't need to care.
Forget above, its all unfair!
Thats all we do, its all we are.
Our chimney sitting is, our momentary goal
Above our heads is something greater
but we're imagining our contamination....
What happens when we leave those chimneys?
Do we fly across the sky and paint?
We wish we knew that infinite dream
Eternity? lets sit and wait....
I like the image of the chimney as a human prison that chokes us. I also like the idea of comparing this living in a chimney to living in the moment, with no eye towards the future, and no eye towards anything but the 'self'. A nice piece.
Ahh..but there is hope there too!
What happens when we leave our chimneys, our prisons...our shackles? The sky, the boundless eternity...do we exist, at last..truly free?
Thanks
Homon wrote:Ahh..but there is hope there too!
What happens when we leave our chimneys, our prisons...our shackles? The sky, the boundless eternity...do we exist, at last..truly free?
Thanks
I might suggest a little edit or expansion to make this point more clear. There is no shame in that.
It's a lot better than 'I'll marry you bitch'.
What's up with that guy anyway?
I liked it, Homon; I agree with Cav about a slight editing if you want to get hope across, but I feel that it's a good poem in its own right..
As for that 'I'll marry you, bitch' person, my guess is that he's either a juvenile, or someone with a juvenile mind...
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