Ill mind

Screw anybody I might alarm,
Life is a tour I sit and ride along
taking some notes and then I write the song.
I’m staring down the road my life has gone.
Is this where I belong?
Is it wrong to not believe in right and wrong?

My mental state is messing me up,
And I cry the pond while asking you for some answers,
But we don’t have that type of bond.
Now my desires gone. With the way that I’ve been living lately,
If I died right now you’d turn the fire on.

Sick of this bullshit, people call me a sellout,
Cause I hopped on Christianity so strongly then I fell out.
Now I’m avoiding questions like a scared dog with his tail down,
Feeling so damn humiliated because they looking at me like I’m hellbound.
What story should I tell now? I’ll just expose the truth.
I'm so close to the ******* edge, I should be close to you.
But who the **** are You? You never showed the proof,
and I’m only freakin human, what am I supposed to do?

There’s way too many different religions with vivid descriptions.
Begging all ******* men and women to listen.
I can’t even beat my dick without getting convicted.
These ain’t wicked decisions, I got different intentions.
I've been itching to get it, I’ve been given assistance,
but the whole damn system is twisted.
Now I’m dealing with this backlash because Marcus isn't a Christian
And I’ve been told that my sinful life is an addiction.

But I can’t buy it, it’s just too hard to stand beside it.
I need an answer and humans can’t provide it.
I look at the Earth and Sun, and I can tell a genius man designed it.
It’s truly mind blowing, I can’t deny it
Is heaven real? Is it fake? Is it really how I fantasize it?
Where’s the Holy Ghost at? How long it take Man to find it?
My mind’s a nonstop tape playing and I can’t rewind it,
you gave me a Bible and expect me not to analyze it?

I’m frustrated and you provoked it!
I’m not reading that motherf*cking book because a human wrote it!
I have a f*cking brain, you should know it!
You gave it to me to think to avoid every useless moment!
It was a mission that I had to abort,
Cause humans be lying with such an inaccurate source.
It’s gon’ be hard to put me back on the course.
Next Jehovah’s Witness to come on my porch I swear I’m slamming the door.

A lot of folks believe it though, but I’m not surprised.
Humans are f*cking dumb, still thinking that Pac’s alive.
I ain’t trying to take your legacy and torch it down,
I’m just saying: I ain’t heard **** from the horse’s mouth.
Just sheep always telling stories of older guys,
who were notarized by you when you finally vocalized.
Now I’m supposed to bow my head and close my eyes, and somehow let the Holy Ghost arise,
Sounds like a freakin Poltergeist.

Show yourself and then boom it's done!
Every rumor’s gone, I no longer doubt this ****, you’re the One!
I’ll admit that my sinful ways was stupid fun!
And all my old habits can hop onto of a roof to plunge!
I’ll donate to a charity that could use the funds!
F*ck the club, instead of b*tches I’d hang with a group of nuns!
And everyone that I ran into would know what I came to do,
I wouldn't take a step unless it was in the name of You.

I hate the fact that I have to believe.
You haven’t been chatting with me like you did Adam and Eve,
And I ain’t seen no f*cking talking snake unravel from trees.
With an apple to eat, that **** never happens to me.
I don’t know if you do or don’t exist, it is driving me crazy.
Send your condolences, this is me reaching to you so don’t forget
If hell is truly your pit of fire and I get thrown in it.
I’mma probably regret the fact that I ever wrote this sh*t.

My gut feeling says it’s all fake,
I hate to say it but f*ck it, **** I done lost faith.
This isn’t a small phase, my perspective’s all changed
My thoughts just keep picking **** apart all day.
And in my mind I make perfect sense
If you aren’t real then all my prayers aren’t worth a cent.
That would mean that I could just make up what my purpose is,
and I could just sit in church and say “f*ck” in the services.

Man what if Jesus was a facade?
Then that would mean the government’s god.
I feel like they’ve been brainwashing us with a lot.
So much that we don’t even notice that we’re stuck in the box.
Man everything is “what if”, why is it always “what if”
Planet Earth “what if”, the universe “what if”
My sacrifice “what if”, my afterlife “what if”
Every ******* thing that deals with you is f*cking suspect