Agnostic and Christian married in the same household w/ Kids

I would never 'call' you on anything Ian. :wink: I was simply confused by your original statement and needed clarification.
I love the fact that an old SunSpot friend is now posting on A2K!

I wonder how many people, who before they get engaged, actually discuss thier religious differences/similarities. I know my husband and I never did. We grew up in very different churces....he a charasmatic church, me the Evangelical Lutheran Church. He was never much of a church goer and I always have been. About 12 years into our marriage, he decided to attend my church with me. On Sept 8, 2001 he was baptized in the Lutheran faith and happily believes the church's teachings.

Wow this awesome insight i appreciate all of it...

I am trying to hit home with my wife about how i fell...im not mocking what decisions she does make or her beliefs, but i am at least explaining mine.

and getting the samed canned answers about going to hell etc...LOL.

she loves me, she told me so. but i know im not going to hell. im an organ donor, her satan gets to keep what parts aren't put to use elsewhere.

Ian... you sound like prime Unitarian fodder to me...

Great discussion you guys! <grin>

this may be a future problem for me as well. In many ways, knowing about religion can be a reason to not want to follow it. Then again, I wouldn't be teaching them buddhism and Judaism, Christitanity, Islam, etc. So maybe it would just be best to let them be in that area. I can honestly say that I hope they would chose agnosticism, but I would certainly still love and respect them if they chose otherwise. Unless it was like, the cool - aid cult, then I'd get them the hell out of there.

When I was twenty I became semi-engaged to a girl who went berserk when she learned I did not believe in God. She was a wonderful person in most every respect but this one. She told me that in the event we would wed I would have to start going to a church on Sunday - made no difference what denomination. I had not minded that she wanted to change the way I dress. That's immaterial to me. Church is another thing. We gradually broke up.

Breaking up with her edgar was no doubt, one of the smartest things you've done in your life. Had you married her, you would have been condemned to a lifetime of weekly church attendance, thousands of pot luck suppers, constant threats of going to hell and, worst of all, a lifetime of sex only in the missionary position the two times a year she would give it up to you.

Oh, my - where did you get that idea?
Had you married her, you would have been condemned to a lifetime of weekly church attendance, thousands of pot luck suppers, constant threats of going to hell and, worst of all, a lifetime of sex only in the missionary position the two times a year she would give it up to you. [/color][/quote]

Such silliness! There is no correlation between devout Christianity and prudish women. Have you ever read the Song of Solomon - great sex manual. Can't say about other religions, but Christianity in general in encourages MARRIED couples to have a really good time. :wink:

Well, by golly, I guess I ought to have tried her out, anyway. Only then would we know for sure.

Hmmm sex only in the missionary position? LOL...I sure am glad my church is really really liberal about that.

Seriously, I think it is unfortunate that religion is sometimes presented to people in grossly unattractive ways. I don't know anybody who accepted Christ because somebody 'dangled him/her over the 'pit' or force fed him/her angry, dogmatic doctrine.

At the same time I agree completely with Doglover and others who suggest children benefit greatly from having faith and belief in something larger than themselves. I know some of you lifelong athiests have said you don't agree, but then, to be fair, you've never tried it.

Edgar and his wife seem to have a perfect undertstanding and relationship. My husband and I were Christians when we married, and the only reason we didn't separate in the early years was we never had the price of a bus ticket and clean laundry at the same time. But we were fortunate to be part of a good, steady, supportive Christian community and I give that a good deal of credit that we weathered the storms and have now been happily married for a very long time.

One thing is for sure, if you have a good church, it can't hurt. And most likely it will be a good thing for all.

Thats cool that your willing to have the kids to to church with the missus, just keep an eye out for when the church starts packing their brains with "Religioin guilt".

I was raised in a VERY religious house, and I will never forget the MASSIVE guilt trip the first time I made out with a girl. I came home, rushed into my room, prayed for forgiveness and spent way too long reading the bible.

Be sure your kids understand the whole picture, and get ready for when they start thinking on their own and get in trouble for questioning what the religious authority of their church or school is trying to put across.

Try to get them to respect MORALS, not RELIGION. They'll be way better off in the long run.

I always thought that if I got married it would be to a woman who shared my religious beliefs.

WRONG

The Lovely Bride does not belong to any organized religion, though she is religious in her own way. I call her a Druid. We discussed this a lot before we got married. She and I both believe that children will make their own decision when they get old enough. Our job was to give them the background to make an informed decision. She agreed that the children would be brought up Catholic but that we would make sure they thought about what they were learning and asked questions.

This seems to have worked out well.

im trying to explain that everything that comes from church is not the final truth.

im hearing out of my oldest about my music tastes words that are religious in context from his mom...

thankfully my younger boy, totally rocks out with his old man.

i quietly attend, im polite and curteous and help out. but im not 100 percent sold on every last piece of theology and i tend to be far more tolerant about certains issues that my fellow churchmates.

Christianity can be misued to be become very insular and judgemental. one has to be a thinker for themselves.

Like you Ian, I don't think the church...organized religion in general begins to have all the answers or the final truths.

The reason going to church is important in my life is because it's one hour I set aside all week where I am free from all kinds of distractions in order to worship a God who, I believe, loves me and cares about me and my life. Me, of all the billions of people who have lived, are living now and are yet to be born. HE cares about me and my little life. I spend that hour singing His praises, taking communion and hearing a sermon that is, most of the time, enjoyable and thought provoking.

Christianity can and is so often misused by people who call themselves Christians....when in fact, they are nothing more than mind numbed robots who have allowed themselves to be programmed by someone else. When you go to church Ian, focus on your own life and the ways God makes His presence known to you in ways both big and small.

I think these are the key points:
- You've worked this out with your wife ahead of time.
- You are both willing to keep your part of the bargain.
- You realize that in the end the kids will accept or reject based on their own consciences.
- You are providing an education in one particular faith, but showing the kids how to keep an open mind.

I'd say you are doing the right thing. All my best wishes to you.

Well said doglover...

thank you.

You're most welcome my friend.