Agnostic and Christian married in the same household w/ Kids

Good for your kids that you care about this issue.

My husband and I are both Christians, but that doesn't mean our kids don't have questions, nor does it mean that they have made their personal decisions about religion.

The best thing to do is answer their questions honestly, when issues come up.

They are getting a good idea of what your church's beliefs/ doctrine is. I have offered to take my daughter to a synagogue, or to a Catholic service--when she asked about their beliefs. We studied Buddhism together--and I got an education, as well.

Honesty and offering to seek out other information has served us well.

It may be your answer, too.

A girl I used to date, who very devout in her religion, married a guy who was very devout in his religion (both Protestant, but that covers a lot of area). He DEMANDED that the kids be brought up in HIS religion despite the woman's strong beliefs. It was a strain on the marriage and eventually they broke up.

I think it is only fair to expose the children equally and fairly to both philosophies, but allow THEM to make the choice (or to choose something else entirely). I realize that is easier said than done. It's difficult when one parent's set of beliefs demands that certain rituals/sacraments/commitments be made or risk going to Hell.

I hope parents know that their strong, unwavering pressure towards the religion of THEIR choice may be the factor in the child choosing a different path.

Ultimately, no parent can force a child to believe as they do.

If a parent wants to have a positive impact on the religion the child chooses--it will be from the example of the parent's life, not pressure or threats of Hell.

How stupid was that couple you know about Equus that they break up their childrens home for the sake of religion? Doesn't religion teach that divorce is wrong (with the exception of abuse/adultery)?

Ian. I think it's admirable that you attend church for the sake of your children. You ARE doing the right thing by being quiet and respectful. I think that all children should be exposed to religion of some sort because I think curiosity about a supreme being is something we are all born with. As we mature, some of us accept a higher being (God) or reject the notion of God.

May I ask what religion your wife is Ian? Does your older child attend Sunday School also? I ask because little kids don't get much from going to church alone. It's all so adult and confusing LOL. They need the Bible stories and songs they can relate to...on their terms and with other children.

Sofia...the reason i experience some distaste with Christianity is that i was forced into it as a kid...and I resented it then and still resent it.

But I had a long talk with the chaplain who married my wife and myself.

I have alot of personal disagreements from the church, but i don't want my kids misinformed or to made into robots...i want them to think for themselves and ask questions.

i hear some of the little kids every sunday, and you know its pretty much from rote, so to me that misses the point.

i want what's best for the kids but i know that my wife didn't force me to go we'd never go and she'd miss out and so would they. Apparently she keeps my name on the prayer list, i just started laughing at that, because im not changing how i feel, and if i happen to fall out over it that someone misses the point of individual beliefs and freedom of expression that are part of our rights and responsibilites on this planet.

We attend the Nazarene church...i admire their principles of education and high tolerance.

The church emphasizes education about Christ and Christianity but its not force fed, you have to want to believe which is good.

Part of the problem i get with church in general is how its run or the politics, the rest deals with my rights as an individual.

i hope that i can reach my kids as well as the church can...

My wife believes in God. I am an atheist. We have never argued religion and our children have made up their own minds. One's an atheist, one's a devout Christian, and the other two apparently believe in God; they just don't pay any attention to religion.
Now the wife and I are alone most of the time. If she wants to watch a minister on television, it doesn't bother me. In fact, if she joined a church it would not bother me. She doesn't want to control me and I certainly respect her right to do as she wants. After twenty-five years it still works for us.

Sounds like you two did it right, edgar.

We did, Sophia. Thanks.

Apparently i said this wrong...

According to some Christian circles if you and your wife aren't on the same path to Christ your marriage will fail...

I don't buy into that at all,,,just another marketing and recruitment tool.

Thank you doglover for calling me on it.

I think you're doing the right thing by exposing your children to church. My husband didn't know anything about church or religion until after our son was born, because his parents never took him. It was a huge educational gap for him. I want our son to learn the basics in a tolerant atmosphere so he can make an INFORMED decision for himself when he's older.



Absolutely. That's a load of crap. Don't fall for it. (This, coming from a committed Christian, btw.) There are lots of good marriages where the partners don't share the same faith (or lack of).



In that respect, churches are no different from other organizations. Anytime you get a group of people together, you have these same squabbles and pressures to conform. Shoot...even the PTA works this way.

Oh...and re: gay marriage...I think you will find that Christians disagree on this one. (As do non-Christians, I might add.) I know a minister who has performed gay marriages (with which I agree.) And several Christian denominations are on the brink of splitting over the issue of homosexuality. There are churches in all large cities that welcome gays. True, most don't...but don't put all of us in the "evangelical-fundamentalist" category. Christians are an extremely diverse group.

Exposing young children to the christian and the other religious superstitions and representing such as truth limits their capacity to make free decisions. It is a practice which ought be outlawed as abuse.

My wife is a devout Catholic. She attands church every sunday and is an active participant in her church. I am Buddhist, not as devout, but I try not to get too far off the path.

My children are being educated in each religion. I attend church with my wife at christmas time because it's important to her. I also go to church dinners and what not. My wife stays away from my meditation area and never complains about the incense because she knows it's important to me.

McGentrix- Interesting. If you are raising your children in both religions, how do you explain any contradictions that arise?

I agree with what has been posted so far. I love Edgar even more, if possible, than before. Kudo's to both you and your wife!

Bear and I started off both attending church while dating and during first years of marriage. I was raised in the church and have had strong convictions regarding God's presence for most of my life. Bear was not exposed early on, and, though he can speak for himself, I would currently say he has questions. We no longer attend church, but that has not changed my convictions, nor do I believe that doing so is required.

Both children accepted Christ a couple of years ago, completely on their own. As a matter of fact, they set it up with the minister themselves, and didn't tell me until a few days before hand. They were baptized on Mother's Day.

I have always encouraged them to discuss what they think, what their views are on different subjects, and tried to answer questions in a way that made them think it through themselves and reach their own conclusions. Exposure IS important, in my opinion. Otherwise, you are not giving them a choice.

I think of it in terms of "What if I never exposed them to science? Math? Art?" I see our parental duty as being to expose them to as many experiences and as much knowledge as possible. It's a big world, and they will need all the information we can give them in order to deal with it when they are on their own.

Although I am an atheist, I have never regretted my exposure to Christianity as a youth. I only wish I had been exposed to more religions.

I think its important for children to recognize that religion seems to have little to do with the worth of the individuals they will meet in thier lives. Their are good people in all faiths, and bad ones too, and two loving, honest parents with differing views are more valuable as role models than parents who are just going through the motions.

Amen

They are young yet. Mostly I compare the Buddha with Jesus as equals. Many of the messages are the same, just the stories are different. We haven't really had any discussions on God yet.

McG, the most telling thing I've ever read from you. From now on I'll read your posts in a different light.