i hope you like them

heres anuther by me
people look at my face; all they see is anger
hiding the pain from them; it costs me everyday
and yet they still dont see; im hiding from me
from the person iv turned out to be
no longer a sweet little innocent
there is no joy in taking care of people
not anymore

Very emotional and pure. I really like the line "who would buy something so black" in conjunction with the "selling your soul" reference. That's really moving. The reader can really feel your pain there.

thankx
thank you. you should see my angry ones

Keep posting. I'm sure more folks will pop in to give you encouragement and comments. It's a noble goal to want to write professionally.

alright. but should i start a whole new topic?

Well, it depends. If you post a new topic for every poem, they might get lost in the sea of posts here. I'm keen on the idea of keeping all your writing in one place, which will make it easier to reference.

history
History
There you sit
Calm as can be
Just shut your voice
Stop all the noises
Pull the knife out that you stuck in my back
Maybe rewind history


Im afraid that you've been gone for too long
Our connection faded I know
But that's no reason
To watch me bleed
And not do a damn thing


There you are
With that stupid smile on your face
With all your information
With you calm voice
Just shut it all up
Rewind history


Im afraid I lost you a long time ago
Its partly my fault I know
But that's no excuse
To just keep smiling and watch me bleed
And not do a damn thing


There you were
So modestly laying the blame on me
With you're perfect looks
With you're cold smile
But now im standing with a gun in my hand
Iv pulled out the knife you've stuck in my back
Let's not rewind history


Im afraid we lost each-other
But im not going to pay the price alone
So I healed myself with hate
And I can sit
Yeah I can sit
I can sit and watch you bleed
And not do a damn thing
And just not do a damn thing
And not rewind history

i usually dont title them
The torment of holding it in
The anger and so much pain inside
It breaks my soul open
So im always retreating to my special place
Nobody spits on my image when im there
Again and again I try
Again and again I fail
Couldn't believe this happened to me
But it all seemed so invisible
Nothing really mattered
Pulled my heart in the right direction
Retreat to my place still
To my Epiphany in my mind
Black coats my soul beyond redemption
God is no longer a problem
Nothing seems to matter when im numb
My name is nothing
Im always crying while im hiding
Nobody needs to see my feelings
The little kid in me cries at night
With noone to see her suffer because of it
No hate enters my special place
Cause im a person there
Im alive
In my Epiphany
Im always someone
Im never nobody
Im never guilty or otherwise
In My Epiphany

They all see me here
they taunt and laugh
i want so badly to fade away
seems only one person understands
and i want so badly to fade
fade away


now ill keep my mouth shut
since everything i say is wrong
ill just keep my hands tied behind my back
i dont want to get into any more trouble
maybe if im just so invisible
maybe i might disappear


i used to crawl on my hands and knees
begging to be noticed and alive
(only one person did)
but now i dont care anymore
all i want is to fade
cutting myself from the ones i need most
maybe itll prove that i can depend on myself (i cant)
if they forget me ill be able to fade


now ill keep my mouth shut
since everything i say is wrong
ill just keep my hands tied behind my back
i dont want to get into any more trouble
maybe if im just so invisible
maybe i might disappear


everything about me is fake
at least thats what they say
i guess i should learn
thats crying in front of people
just makes it worse
so ill just shut down
and fade
fade away
and fade
fade away

Sick and tired of waiting in this agony
To young of a body to know the difference between real and fantasy
To old of a soul to get up and do something about it
The music plays
The candles are all lit
But there's noone here but me
And im afraid that's the way its always gonna be
The sadness is having to wait for for only one moment
The cross to bear is of being alone in my own dark life
So stuck in a story that walks right in front of me
Feeling so alone in the world tonight
Only the cat will be around and thats to fight
I want to lay down and wonder what would happen if i die sometimes
Theres noone really here to love and protect me
Theres not really a person to bring a rose to my grave and cry
Im not the kind to sit and slit
Just the sadness sometimes get ahold of me
Sick and tired of waiting in the agony
For a man to love me
Dying inside for a soulmate to love
Just sitting on the window seat waiting

Tuesdays
blind hot anger
killing disappointment
so hurt somehow
i hate tuesdays
been afraid of handling sharp things
i know ill end up bleeding
stab
stab with whiteout
crisscrossing marks
on my hand
on my heart
i hate tusdays
faded words on the back of my hand
it helps others but not me
people say
oh youv been through so much
but i havent
its just another life
it doesnt mean anything
i hate tuesdays
cant be alone anymore
somehow the wall is always upon my fist
and i end up with a swollen and bruised hand
i hate it when people surround me
im traveling down the corridor
to hell
i dont wanna take you with me
im so sorry
im such a screwup
but im gonna make it right again
and i cant see you anymore
im so sorry
i hate tuesdays

when will they begin
to understand
my darkside
it gets to where
i dont care anymore
and i just wanna lay down and sob
i just wanna hurt everyone i know

caus i wanna lay down and die
caus i dotn wanna hurt you
caus i feel so deeply scarred
caus i wanna lay down and die
caus i dont wanna hurt you
because i am so deeply scarred

im afraid to go on living
i dont wanna hurt ne more people
i hope ill just pass out now
maybe ill just fall on the floor and not get up
im so tired living life alone
and then
i shut down
and i dont care anymore

caus i wanna lay down and die
these secrets are eating me up
and i feel so deeply scarred
caus i wanna lay down and die
these secrets are eating me up
and i feel so deeply scarred

Man, good stuff. I wanted to point you to this thread: http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=676342&highlight=#676342

to see what some of our other younger members are writing. Infected Mike is probably not much older than you, and it sounds like you listen to similar music. He sings in a metal band. He has posted several poems in different threads...I wish he had done as you did and kept them in one place. Anway, I just thought it would interest you to meet some like-minded people here.

thank you for the link. he's like...damn good. cant sum it up into words

book marking until I get a chance to read carefully.

Santana, Welcome and if Cav is already your fan, you're doing something right. Did you get your screen name from Carlos?

Carlos was indeed a fantastic guitarist, and an inspiration to many guitarists, including those who play metal and hard rock. He was one of the first to play a Paul Reed Smith guitar, and it was a prototype, before the Smith line was availible commercially. He still says it's his favourite, and refers to it affectionately as his "monkey-s**t brown" guitar.

no, its my name. and i was born in 89

Well, my young friend. I must do mundane stuff tonight, but I want you to know that I will give you my best teacherly analysis of what you have written. How marvelous to have that opportunity. You are so promising. Feel free to PM Cav or me at any time.

Your mentor from Florida,
Letty

Santana, I gave all your pieces a holistic once over. You have an extraordinary talent, my dear. There are some misspelled words, but somehow they fit with your outpourings.

I am impressed with your diction, because you conjured sharp images in my mind, albeit depressing ones, but I'm certain that's the idea that you wanted to convey.

Now comes the healing process.

Back later with some info on places to take your epiphany.