Reply
Fri 11 Apr, 2014 05:39 am
Recently I came across my 3rd grade classmate. It has been almost 13 years since we last met but we still remember each other name clearly which I’m really pleased to know. She happens to be a new lecturer in my university.
We met once as she was the exam monitor for my class final exam. The bad thing was that at that time I didn’t recognise her even a bit while she really was. Then, after a month, I checked my schedule for new semester and was very surprised see her name there. Only at that time that I realized she teaches just three class away from me. Yet, I was not completely sure that the girl was her or not since I couldn’t recognise her face.
Lucky, my current lecturer is her friend and ask her to clarify it for me. In fact, she is that little girl in my 3rd grade class.
After that, I added her to Facebook but she didn’t accept my request immediately. She accepted it a day later, several hours after she posted a shocking status about her primary school life. Throughout her primary school, she was constantly bullied and isolated by classmates which was like a nightmare to her and haunted her throughout her childhood. We were good friend in the childhood. We had been in the same class for a few years but I didn’t even noticed anything. I feel really bad to finally know what she went through. I feel really guilty I didn’t do anything for her when she need someone the most. She mentioned that those painful experience shaped her mentally and made her a lot stronger. In fact, she becomes one of the most outstanding student in the university.
We talked a little in Facebook and I’m really glad as she said that she remembered me as the quite boy with pure heart.
Two days later, without a warning, she puts her posts, photos, and everything about her to restrict. I can’t access any of her information even her profile picture. She seems to hide not only me but every of her friend. I feel really bad. I don’t understand this. I might accidentally have done something wrong that really hurt her. A week later, I messaged her to ask about it and she told me that I have done nothing wrong and I’m cool. She continued that everything will be normal soon.
It’s been a month but it is still the same. I think she might be upset because I didn’t recognise her when we met. I think she might have noticed me long ago since in the previous semester, we were at the floor and I walked pass her class all the time. Until now, we haven’t met in person yet, I mean since we know each other again. At the moment, I walks in front of her class every day hoping to have a small talk with her but she is always teaching when I’m there and I have to try again next day.
Was she upset because I didn’t recognise her? Did I do anything wrong? Why did she do that?
P.S: She is a person with pure soul. I’m really amazed by her inner beauty. She is the kind of person I’ve been waiting for the rest of my life. I love her.
@ILoveWoodstar,
the university may have a rule against professors friending students on social media sites...
Are you suggesting that you are an instructor in a university, even though your English is so poor? Is English not the language used at your university?
As for this woman, maybe her recollections of childhood are so horrendous that she wants no part of that past.
@Setanta,
Yes, maybe you're right! I might have remind her of her past. I might have to pull myself away from her. Actually, I'm currently a sophomore majoring in bachelor of English that why my English is poor. She is the newest lecturer at my university.
P.S Might sound strange to you! In my country, people prefers to study in 2 university at the same time, one of which is their main major and other one is English or other languages. Beside here, I'm in year 5 majoring in Civil Engineering. Sorry for my poor English!
@Region Philbis,
No, there is no rule restricting that! We are completely open for that! My writing skill lecturer even create a group for the class and encourage student to post their writing there. I discuss with my lecturer on Facebook all the time.
I suggest that you stop trying to develop this relationship based on FB accounts.
Man up and ask her out for coffee and a talk. You need to show her that you are interested in her.
(But be aware that this student/instructor rules might prevent her from seeing you. Besides, are you sure she is not seeing someone else? )
Perhaps seeing you brought up a part of her life she would like to forget even though you have nice memories.
@ILoveWoodstar,
Yikes.
Stop creeping on her. You sound a bit obsessive.
Saying you love someone you haven't seen in 13 years is odd.
Also - she didn't hide anything from YOU. She added security to her account. You are one of the many people who can't see things.
Quote:Until now, we haven’t met in person yet, I mean since we know each other again. At the moment, I walks in front of her class every day hoping to have a small talk with her but she is always teaching when I’m there and I have to try again next day.
<snip>
She is the kind of person I’ve been waiting for the rest of my life. I love her.
creepy creepy creepy
If I knew her in real life, I would advise her to avoid you
@ehBeth,
lol...Thanks so much for your honest word! I'm not that obsesses as much as my word may sound. I can't explain myself clear enough. I've never thought about having relationship with her that early. I'm a very quiet person and a bit shy as well (Not something I'm proud of). Even just to talk to her is really difficult for me not even to mention starting a relationship. I just want to meet her in person just to greet her, show my respect, and have a small talk because I don't want to make myself look ignorance and arrogant to her. At least, we used to know each other and a good friend as well.
Well yes! It may sound crazy! I love her because her personality and maybe because of our childhood memory. Have you ever met someone who make you feel "she is the one"? Everything about her has motivated and inspired me to try harder in everything I'm doing right now! Honestly speaking, my initial plan is to confess her one day when I prepare myself enough, maybe a year or two from now. Before that time, I don't think I will try to involve that much with her. Yet, it's because of her strangeness that make me feel so anxious to know the truth and post it in here.
P.S I'm looking forward to hear from you.
@PUNKEY,
Thanks so much for your reply! I feel the same. I try to do it many times but luck isn't in my side. Also, she is a quiet person and I, on the other hand, is very very quiet myself, which make it really difficult.
I don't know exactly whether she has someone in mind or not. Yet, she doesn't seem to have one. If she does, then that person must be someone great because she is really great. I've never seen someone like her! She's got the highest of my respect!
@ILoveWoodstar,
Quote:She is the kind of person I’ve been waiting for the rest of my life. I love her.
This sort of thinking is counter-productive is a real show-stopper. You're fantasizing a relationship and that fantasy keeps you locked into a mindset that she might have already sensed and wants to avoid.
Admiration and respect are good traits; however, declaring your love while having no real dating relationship is just fuzzy thinking and indicates a denial of facts. The reality is that there a several 'ones' in a person's life. Inexperience and living in an idealized world makes you feel that she is the 'one '.
If I were you I'd date others and gain some more life experience. Admire her from afar if you can respect that boundary.
@Ragman,
Thanks for your reply! haha...My sentence might be a bit exaggerated. I always want to meet this kind of person and she's truly is. Yet, it's doesn't mean that it has to be someone like that.
Thanks so much for your advice! It might be something I should change about myself!
@ILoveWoodstar,
I wish you well.
My point is that finding a romantic partner or at least someone you can date all starts with self-awareness. Thinking out loud (with comments here) and listening to others comments, might give you a reality check of sorts. Whereas, her reality, based on an unhappy life experiences, is drastically different from yours.
@Ragman,
Thanks so much!
I do respect your helpful advice! It gives me new perspective about life. I have learnt a lot today!
I wish you all the best!
@ILoveWoodstar,
She likely set you as an 'acquaintance' on FB. Can you see her old posts?
Maybe she likes you, or maybe she's sensed you like her too much and she's just not interested. If she liked you, it'd be creepy to have a potential date able to track your updates. Facebook is terrible.
To say you love her is a little much. People grow up and change.
PUNKEY is right! Talk in person.
You think this wonderful woman will be around in a year - after you have matured enough to even talk to her?
Wake up, dear; someone will grab her, for sure.
You are old enough to be at university. You are old enough to befriend a woman. That's where it starts.
You are in a fantasy, right now.
@fireface,
Thanks for your answer! I can't see any of her post. I asked her once already and she told me she put everything to restricted not only to me but everyone! It's true since some of her friend asked the same things. Is it because I didn't recognize her face and she was upset about it? or she isn't confident with herself enough to show it? Girls care a lot about appearance while we are not really care that much. I didn't show any feeling at all toward her even after she put everything into restriction. I didn't even talk to her after the first greeting on Facebook. It's her strangeness that caught my attention and make me feel so anxious to know the true! I will talk to her after the university's break!
@PUNKEY,
Thanks! Yes, you're right! I'd better do it before it's too late! It's really difficult to do thing like that but I will have to do it one day somehow. Be a man! I will do it soon!
@ILoveWoodstar,
How much experience do you have dating, in general?
Have you had a girlfriend before?
It seems you're trying to jump in the deep end of the pool before getting your feet wet in the shallow end.
You sound like you're describing your hero, not a woman you'd like to date.
Are you able to message her on Facebook? if you can't seem to meet her in the hallways at school, send her a facebook message inviting her to meet you for a tea or coffee some afternoon. Don't be too weird worship-y if you are able to meet her in person and do NOT stalk her on the school grounds.
@ehBeth,
No, I have no experience in dating or have girlfriend before. There're many reasons but main thing is that I don't have any spare time even in the weekend. Too busy with my study and work and that I don't want to involve in relationship. Actually, we chat in Facebook several time already and I just don't want to make it only in Facebook. I don't stalk her on school ground as you think. I walk past her class everyday only after my session end. I need to leave the university for my workplace, so why not walk that way when she is on the same floor. I just want to meet her and talk to her once and that's all. It seems that the more I explain, the more I confuse you! I'll be careful next time before posting anything online. Anyway, thanks for your honest word. It gives me something to think about and something I should avoid in the future.
Wish you the best!
@ILoveWoodstar,
I made that mistake. A girl I really liked thought I was stalking her when I had a class in the same building. She didn't like me enough to let me explain. When you appear in person, it seems weird I guess. oh well...
Send her a message. Don't read into the Facebook deal. Be casual.
Selected Answer
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace