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Facebook "friending": I don't get it.

 
 
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:08 pm
I set up a Facebook account to look for one person that I had not had success finding any other way. I found her (an old friend) sent her a note with my email and phone and now we talk like regular people.

I haven't used the account for anything other than that.

Once in a while I will get an email saying "Joe Johnson" or "Carol Williams" or somebody else I've never ever heard of wants to be my "friend".

I'm completely clueless as to how this happens, or why this happens.

I just delete the notification email if it isn't someone I know but it all seems kind of creepy to me.

Can anyone explain this "friending" stuff to me?

Many thanks!
 
Robert Gentel
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:10 pm
@boomerang,
A lot of times it's just spam. Trying to get you to look at their profile and their links.

0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:15 pm
Oh. Interesting!

But how do they find me? Do they just plug in random names? My profile has such little information in it that I can't imagine someone finding a commonality.
ebrown p
 
  3  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:16 pm
@boomerang,
What about Facebook do you get?

I was roped into it by my family... I don't get why anyone would want what is basically a Christmas letter that lasts all year long.

Sorry, I can't explain anything about facebook.


Robert Gentel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:19 pm
@boomerang,
I don't know in your particular case. It could be people who have your email in their address book from somewhere. Could be name searches, school searches (and a bit loose on the class filter), it really could be a lot of things.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:27 pm
You won't get a fight out of me on that point e_brown!

Facebook worked very very well for the one thing I wanted to use it for, I'll give it that. I'd like to keep the account open in case something like that comes up again.

Robert -- they can find it through your email address!?

Say I responded to an ad on craigslist for a used chair, sending along my email address, could they track me down from there?

Or, once in a while I get an email from someone I've done some work with, they'll "cc" everyone with the information so you can see all the names and email address' that the person is writing to. Could someone track me down from that?

I don't want to sound paranoid but I really guard my privacy.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:31 pm
boom, just chiming in that I totally don't get it either.

If I want to communicate with you, I'll call or send you an email.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:37 pm
Oh! One other thing that has me confused...

On the Facebook page there is a little queue of "so and so wants to be your friend, click to make this person your friend" button. One of the names in my queue was very similar to a poster on A2K and even used the same avatar.

I've had an amicable relationship with the person on A2K but we haven't communicated beyond here. We don't know each others name, etc.

That REALLY flipped me out.
0 Replies
 
Robert Gentel
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 04:39 pm
@boomerang,
Short answer is yes, you can be found by an email search, but there is probably a setting to turn it off.
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 05:03 pm
@Robert Gentel,
Thanks, Robert! I'm going to snoop around to see if I can't cancel that search function off of my page.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 05:04 pm
@boomerang,
You can also set your privacy settings so that nobody can find you, at all -- it's nice for the sort of situation you're talking about, where you want to be able to find other people but don't particularly want to be found.

edit: a good friend of mine from HS and I both have FB accounts and both have privacy settings so we can't be found -- so we can't friend each other! We've tried, no luck so far. (We've spoken about it in person and via email.) We'll figure it out I'm sure.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  4  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 05:13 pm
@ebrown p,
Quote:
I don't get why anyone would want what is basically a Christmas letter that lasts all year long.
Thats gotta be the best explanation Ive seen on this phenomenon
rosborne979
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 05:13 pm
@boomerang,
Facebook is like an online forum (or community) which you can restrict to a selected group of people. There are a lot of extra bells and whistles which I find somewhat annoying, but the basic core function is pretty nice.

You basically create an online representation of yourself including a profile and picture galleries and videos and other tidbits. Then you search out other people on Facebook who you want to give access to your little online world (your "friends").

It also allows you to create sub-pages associated with your account which you can promote. So for example, if you have a home business selling jars of spiced honey or something, you can create a "Page" for that business and then promote it to your "friends" with links from your page.

Facebook accounts are considered part of a "Social Network" and social networking is becoming a big marketing trend. Most people use the Facebook accounts simply to communicate "en masse" with everyone in their collection of friends, but there are other inherent functions as well. Like most things on the web, it's evolving rapidly.

0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 05:41 pm
I think I figured out how to be less findable.

Thank you all for your help and explainations.

I understand that there is surely a lot more to it than I have discovered, or probably ever will discover. I realize that I'm not a very social person. I know those sites aren't designed for people like me.

Those "friend" messages were just a bit too creepy for me.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 05:57 pm
I love Facebook. Spend way too much time on it and connecting with people from my past that I lost contact with is fun. But I never befriend people I don't know, I let my younger friends and relatives reach out for me instead of intruding on their space, and I don't befriend mere acquaintances who obviously just want to rack up their numbers, because they get some kind of thrill out of having 2,000 'friends'. Ridiculous.
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 06:19 pm
@eoe,
Yeah.... I've heard about those friend collectors.

Same with Twitter (another thing I don't do) and "followers".

That whole aspect is kind of spooky to me.
mismi
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 07:34 pm
@boomerang,
I like it. I just check on my college friends and high school friends that I would have a hard time keeping up with otherwise. It's an easy way to find out how they are. Of course...it can be a time waster. But it is my relax time.

I haven't had a hard time with spam or people I don't know. Maybe I got my e-mail settings right up front. Rare. I haven't a clue.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 07:46 pm
@boomerang,
Your name showed up on my friend suggestion not too long ago.
A couple of months ago at best.

I dont know how that was made, but I think it goes by HOW (?) you search?
For example, if you searched my user name, facebook would then see the names of friends I had and then how many were in common with each other ( which represents a possible network) and suggest those people to you.
Since most of the in common friends are from a2k, and possibly part of the a2k facebook group, facebook then picks from that group and will hand you names from there..


does that odd ball web make sense?
0 Replies
 
ebrown p
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 09:04 pm
@farmerman,
Hey Farmerman.... what kind of women's undergarment are you?
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 09:10 pm
@ebrown p,
girdle
0 Replies
 
 

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