All you need is love

I do a lot of 'exhibiting' and am getting nowhere.
There don't seem to be any takers for a drummer with a masters in Electronics who plays death metal and takes photographs of live bands for a living. All of this while running a drum building company.

ah yes, my specialty; err, do i detect a cynical note of resignation here?



perhaps you should concentrate on the 'heavy hitters'!
[you might try sitting around in the tall weeds, pounding on your chest!

Methinks Wilso and Heliotrope are trying too hard.

Heliotrope, you have the whole chick magnet thing already in place....you're in a band, a smart educated guy, photographer and businessman....I'm confused why this isn't working for you.

Both of you should remember, there is always Miss right, and Miss right now. Yeah, I'm one to talk...sometimes being commitment-minded sucks when you are trying to date, just ask all the girls who rejected me through high school and university.

in 'casual encounters' there are two things that you should not take too seriously; 'her', and 'you'!

You're confused !!??
I'm climbing the farking walls !
I just don't seem to be able to meet people.
I'll give you a situation.

Last Friday night I was at a gig taking pictures. Lots of lassies around. I'm busy taking photos naturally. Getting hot, sweaty and doing my job. Got some great shots of three bands. When it's all over the venue closes and it's time to go so I pack the truck up and vanish. I think the only words I said all night were "a pint of coke with ice please".
So where is the time to stand around and chat chicks up ?
In any case I haven't the first idea of how to go about chatting a lass up never having chatted anyone up ever ! I'm serious.
All the relationships I've been in have just come out of the blue.
In any case bars and clubs are a pain in the arse and basically I can't stand them. I go there because I'm working or I'm playing.
If I'm playing I'm playing, and when we're done I pack my stuff up and go because I'm shattered after 2 hours of 300bpm triplets. By the time I'm done the place is closed and there's no one there to even think about speaking to.
And even if there was I'm bloody useless at small talk.
I mean what's the point anyway ? It doesn't help anyone least of all me standing around gibbering about some trash soap opera, the football (which I don't watch) or some other totally irrelevant rubbish.
No one is remotely interested in having a decent discussion about anything and the ones that think they are just spout platitudes and garbage they saw on the sports news.
So as for 'trying too hard' well, I'm speechless. I don't think I'm trying at all. What the hell are you supposed to do anyway ?
Walk around the place asking every chick if she wants a date ?
Everyone is standing around in their own groups gibbering shite about their absent friends anyway. As if I'm even remotely interested in 'what Susan did the other day'.
Or am I supposed to walk around with a tshirt saying "hey ! I have the whole chick magnet thing already in place....I'm in a band, I'm a smart educated guy, photographer and businessman." ?
No one is interested in my drumming, business, photography, physics or anything else.
If they were, they'd have said something lonnnnnnnng before now.

Heliotrope, life is one long series of accidents. As such one must just be out there exposed, waiting for an accident to occur. By the way, in my long life I've known a lot of wonderful women who think very much as you do. They'll never meet you if you stay penned up in your place or packing up and going home right after a "gig." And as far as this Ms. Right thing is concerned. I'm quite confident that there are at least one million Ms. Rights for me out there in the world. I'm just lucky I've married two of them. Accidents.

just reading your posts............ you're wrong about the 'small talk'; even if it is, perhaps, a little 'overweight'? for 'small' talk.

and the "T" shirt's a great idea; however, i think another problem, it seems, is the 'venue'!

maybe try a museum, or art gallery; with the "T" shirt! :wink:


and jlN; "two...." ; hmm, 'south west'? say....Salt Lake City!?

Heliotrope, I am great at small talk and have yet to find love by being a great addition to the party. I did fall in love once but that love ended after 20 years when the trust between us was broken.

Now I have been love less in the romantic way for over 12 years and some times I think I will never love or be loved again. But then I might one can not predict these things.

BWG is right about getting around more (personally I would not wear the T-shirt). I realize this might be hard for you as you are working all night and sleeping during the day. But museums are good, book stores are good, I have attended local story telling events where I have met many fine men. Another way to meet women for men are Art History Classes. Women flock to them and since you are a practicing artist you might find the one you are looking for there or get lucky as JLN suggests.

I think not looking is key. Just be yourself and you will find someone to love. Hmm, sounds like an idea for a good song.

BGW, not concurrently. I couldn't handle that, even if they were both willing.

perhaps jlN, there is something to be said for 'dualism'!

helio, maybe start a new thread? I feel like this one is almost beyond re-tracking. Maybe Cyracuz is too in love to care.....?

I agree with BoGo - the rock club is the wrong place to meet chicks, probably. I'd be interested in talking with you were I to have met you back in my rock club days.

Nah, my dirty laundry is almost done.

That's because you've had a chance to get to know me at least a little on these forums. You can check my thoughts out and ask me things.
In the "real" world no one is willing to do any of those things.

nah, not having gotten to know you. Your self-described list of attributes, had I known them, would have (do) intrigue me.

Exactly.
"Had you known them"

So how do I get my 'attributes' out and about and getting noticed ?

all you need is love?
I wish it was true that "All you Need is Love."

Unfortunately, I don't know that this is true.

For example,
If I don't have rent money, yet love my landlord, I will be homeless.

Unless we're saying that walking around homeless and being loving is a sufficient existence.

Or, what if I'm a soldier stuck in Iraq right now. Someone is trying to shoot me. Yet I love them.

Is love truly all we need in this world?

tcis, I guess we should say that the most important thing is love. But I would qualify that as follows: The most important thing is TO love.

JL,

I agree with that. The most important thing is TO love. Perhaps that is what we are here to learn, to a large degree.

Hey I posted a question I'd be interested in your take on...just posted it with under the topic: "Why were we created?"

O.K., I'll go to it now. But I have reservations about the term "created."

"Love" is a word that is misunderstood, abused, and applied to too many things; i would suggest that to improve the human environment on this planet, "all you need is compassion".
Lets keep the love for personal relations, and offer 'compassion' to all.

BoGoWo, makes sense to me. But my point is that, regarding personal relations, it feels very good, it is fulfilling, to feel love for others. To be loved is your lover's experience, not yours. You experience only that which you have for others. And, of course, by love, I do not mean desire. THAT'S generally painful.