whats wrong with my rapping,how can i improve....?

Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 02:16 am
Dreamin high, wiping eyes,removin
sweat from my forehead
Pain died while writin my abituary
inside my stone head
Worlds trynna dig my grave not
knowin i was borned dead
My wishes killed me,bitchhes pissme
,wen i die nobody would missme cuz
m broke n Torn wreck,
fags labelled my every beat
wack,cryin all the time caused my
eye 's H2O shed
just to forget the past i smoke
weed,crack and hennessy
m trynna bring death closer to me,
and u cant feel
the pain which i feel when i see my
older pictures,i aint (lyin)
i too abuse dimes, especially when i
see my sister cryin
the life is mortal, every rich guys got
on his face a big chortle
but i 've been starvin for decade,my
hunger is immortal
m quitin to spit the raps as volunteer
and m quittin to fall and bear my
everynight i halt and tear with the
bottle of rimy martin here on the
m sick of feelin grief, i dont even get
peace in sleep,i swear to god i weep
in dreams
plus world love to see me screamin,
grab my neck and they say bleed
bittch bleed
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 1,741 • Replies: 11
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Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 02:21 am
Did you steal these lyrics from Dolly Parton?
Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 03:53 am
what do u mean?
Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 04:00 am
Well, the lyrics are so pure and uplifting. Lyrics fo gladden the heart and make one feel good about being alive and inspiring them to encourage peace on earth.
Dolly is expert at that sort of stuff.

Are you sure you didn't copy her just a little bit?
Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 08:55 am
dude,what are u talking about,im ashamed of my lyrics cuz people say they are crapy,how come u liked it...im glad :-p

and these are written by me,not even lil bit by anyone else
0 Replies
Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 09:55 am
A lot of it doesn't make much sense. There's a basic message but too much filler.
Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 12:10 pm
tell me some bars which dont makes sense
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Jack of Hearts
Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 05:15 pm
Self pity is not in season - it never is.
Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2013 08:06 pm
@Jack of Hearts,
i never asked what is or what isnt,i just asked to comment any rap and yes self pity is one of biggest theme rappers write on btw

wtf is cleaning out my closet about
or the song 8mile about?
Jack of Hearts
Reply Tue 17 Dec, 2013 09:50 am
OK, what's the plight you bemoaning?
Reply Tue 17 Dec, 2013 09:58 am
@Jack of Hearts,
get the fucc outta here
0 Replies
Romeo Fabulini
Reply Tue 17 Dec, 2013 10:06 am
Remember, the words have to be heard by the listener, so sing them clearly or the whole song goes down the pan.
I'm not a rap expert but the lyrics of most of the ones i've heard are a jumble of words and i can't make head or tail of them
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