Free, by death

Entering a space I do not wish to be
These lines are formed expressly for you, from me.

Encrypted, softened, spun from old,
Unhurried, gentle, yet it MUST get told.

So few, in the billions of faces to see
Is there one I ponder , wants to slowly kill me!?

No guns on the hilltop, no knife upon the bed,
No streams of red, running, no knots on the head.

No rope-pocked chokes, no bruise to appear.
Nothing booby trapped, or waiting, to spring when I am near.

Hush! In the quiet of the clock's move, whispers , beating low.
It is the rush of a heart… just as fast as it can go!

No one hears, no one knows, and one laughs to be told,
"Don't you see what I show you" , how he said, ?'you'll grow OLD'!?

Come and visit the spritely, in the green shoes of dance-
With a grin of great ?'jolly' and to share, takes a chance…

Twirling swiftly, now close, but then further away
Making eyes with the joyful twinkling of the day-

She ran with the others… welding hearts with the few
Who had come, and her troublesome emotions renew.

"I thought it would linger, for years, anyway;
I thought we'd have warmth and we'd laugh everyday."

Not that smart... when in ignorant naïvete shrank from the curt
And bold, ill ego… and sank…

To my own little cubby, and friends round me drew
I prayed all the days, that my best would be the ?'new'.

Comes the past like a flood, with a face slightly altered
In the fear of the moment, interactions glow faltered…

Curiosity the winner of plans still unknown
Made the night of the dreamer, the time life was gone.

Oh, Angel of death, as your rounds roll my way
You will gather the pieces of broken, strewn clay.

From complaints in the morn, until dusk dark of eve
Those things I be given, I failed to receive.

That not what I wished for, was what I embraced
And with horrors evil, came at once , face to face.

Can you smile as I tell you, with my belly wide split…
There is nothing "to see", out of sight, that is it?

Will you giggle as others, when I jump, scratch and twitch?
Telling me there is salve, for that ache and that itch?

Do you hear when I cry? though I don't want to be heard?
Just the sniffle and the throbbing moan, not uttering a word?

But even as I sigh, there comes the anal itch, intense!
I have to struggle through layers of clothes in self-defense.

No sooner than I reach the manic spot to make it stop,
There comes an itching in my nose, like it is fit to pop!

Oh, yes, demonic criminal is laughing- but I can't hear.
There is no sound at all from him, just pressure on my ear.

No paranoid deception stops me as 'weighted' I drag along.
My family, grocer-- my local friends, find me a woman, strong!

The underneath will not be seen till God judges at the throne
And then a one who thinks it is brilliant, will be there all alone.

The evil power that moves him, fades into the bottomless pit
And there is naught to save him from the fate-- as he chose it.

The time grows short, in life I hoped would pass the ninety year-
I came to grips that I was gone- crumbling daily without cheer.

The pills for pain, one more for nerves, the sleeping aids that smother
Are slowly making all the organs ready for the ?'other?'.

A stroke of paralyzing halt, this body breathes it's last-
For I have prayed and I believe, HE keeps my loved ones past

The heartache of the loss of one, they love, but do not need.
I am now through, God help them grow, He used me, but for the seed.

From here-- a space where I truly do not want to be--
I hope you will finally know, from you I am set FREE.