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What does forgiveness really mean?

 
 
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Oct, 2014 03:21 pm
@cicerone imposter,
It's not forgiveness - It's 'acceptance' that softens trauma's wake.
Once one 'accepts' the actions of transgressors/ers - One can move-on.

It's just a case of accepting the distraction of the gained criteria, absorbing/processing it and re-adapting (evolving) with gained-criterea in-tow.
The more trivial the infraction the less re-adapting is required.
'LEVELS OF ACCEPTANCE'.
These will be relative to the transgressee alone.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Oct, 2014 03:28 pm
@mark noble,
I disagree; it's forgiveness. Forgiveness means to re-establish a relationship.
The feeling of anger is gone, and we accept the person who has done wrong without any reservation.

Acceptance only means "we can't change the other person." There's a choice between forgiveness and acceptance. Big difference, IMHO.

This becomes clear when the one you love is either forgiven or accepted for their wrong-doing.



Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Oct, 2014 03:34 pm
What? All this palaver and no soundtrack?

0 Replies
 
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Oct, 2014 04:02 pm
@cicerone imposter,
My usage of 'acceptance' is event-directed. It is the action (transgression) we initially judge/evaluate, then - the perpetrator's participation.
For instance - If someone tampers with a minor - We process OUR disgust of the event, then - the offender's participation.
We don't accept the offence - Nor the offender.
So, if the parent of hypothetical child chooses to accept the offence and offender - The issue need not endure a long while and give trauma longivety. To 'Accept' the transgression doesn't mean to overlook or define it - Just accept it occurred.
But to forgive the offence and/or offender is to sanction child abuse.

I conclude that 'forgiveness' is a misconception derived from 'acceptance'.

cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Oct, 2014 04:40 pm
@mark noble,
You,
Quote:
But to forgive the offence and/or offender is to sanction child abuse.


You're offering an idea that's different than what I proposed. Anyone can come up with situations where "to forgive the offence and/or offender is to sanction child abuse." Some call that 'straw man.'
MWal
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Oct, 2014 06:12 pm
@mark noble,
Forgiving slothful acts isn't succumbing to them its whipping them from reality. Accept and move on.
0 Replies
 
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 08:42 pm
@cicerone imposter,
My proposal is neither a proposal or related to yours.
It is an opinion.
And it is correct.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2014 10:08 pm
@mark noble,
It's still an opinion 'out of context' from this forum and my opinion.
0 Replies
 
GorDie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 10:58 am
@Rickoshay75,
When a human forgives a human, that does not absolve their ill-behaviours.

When you forgive, you simply STOP HOLDING THEIR MISDEEDS against them.
0 Replies
 
Smileyrius
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 Jul, 2015 04:11 am
If you do not forgive, you hold on to a transgression which becomes an obstacle that stands between you and the transgressor.
To forgive is to remove that obstacle from between you and place it aside.

I would hazard tho, that it is only necessary to forgive when you are given sound reason to do so i.e reform, reparation or repentance
north
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 04:44 am
@Smileyrius,
Making your future more important than the consequences of your actions in a kneejerk reaction to a emotional ; insult, insensitivity, and lack of empathy.

And sometimes all three at the sametime from one and multiple sources.

Forgiveness really means have strength of mind.

And it can be really , really , really , really tough; really.
north
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 05:16 am
@north,
Society has become mean and nasty.

I knew tough in my youth but they were respectful in their own way. I remember saying hi to a streetfigher and he said hi back. Surprised , but a good attitude. Took the toughness where it belonged , streets.

Now ; in todays world we don't give a **** about anybody but ourselves. The price for this attitude will be paid down the road , in our survival as a living being , surviving in this Universe.
0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 05:45 pm
Forgiveness = Understanding.
Smileyrius
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:25 pm
@Fil Albuquerque,
Is it possible to understand without forgiving? or to forgive without understanding?
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:40 pm
@Smileyrius,
No.
Smileyrius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Jul, 2015 01:41 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Could you develop the thought a little for me, I always imagined you could understand a persons motive, while despising it.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Jul, 2015 07:45 am
@Smileyrius,
Its not different from understanding gravity. Peoples actions have very precise causes. When you truly understand the causes you are no longer in conflict.
This is different from subjective self perceived motivations. Those are not necessarily causes.
Smileyrius
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Jul, 2015 04:48 pm
@Fil Albuquerque,
Thank you for indulging me my friend. Allow me to work through this to see if I understand your concept.

Every action taken by any human is a calculation of all causes before it and no more than just that.
By reducing any action to causality you essentially have removed responsibility for ones actions, therefore removing any reason to hold a transgression against an individual. There is no choice, there is only the appearance of choice. we are all but dominoes in the great domino rally of the universe.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Jul, 2015 08:56 pm
@Smileyrius,
Exactly ! You are a bright deductive guy !
0 Replies
 
 

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