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Is it better to be feared or loved?

 
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 08:02 am
@chai2,
Fear of losing the affection of the one you love, or simple fear of losing the person (death). To be open to love requires to be open to risk. Most people aren't.
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 08:04 am
it's better to be leered
0 Replies
 
JLNobody
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 03:28 pm
@chai2,
Some people fear those they are "in love with" because to them to love is to empower.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 04:48 pm
@JLNobody,
Wow...is it not ?
JLNobody
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Jul, 2014 10:44 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Laughing
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Jul, 2014 10:55 am
@JLNobody,
I think the offer, "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse" combines both! Mr. Green
0 Replies
 
coreylane
 
  0  
Reply Fri 25 Jul, 2014 02:18 pm
It is better to be loved. Sometimes being feared will help one get one want he/she wants but along with fear will exists feelings of resentment and hate. It will also nurture subversive thoughts of revenge and other malicious intent. Fear must be used in a tightly controlled and insistent fashion or it will fail.
To be loved, however, nurtures caring, compassion, loyalty, creativity, magnanimity, kindness, self sacrifice and other positive binding and giving emotions. It may also spawn jealousy in some. But overall, it is a much better relationship to have with other human beings. It seems obvious, but this is not always the case in both business and personal relationships.
Business is often driven by those who rule by fear. But that is not a good example of good leadership. Tough love can be part of good leadership and is not driven by fear.
In relationships, the threat of leaving someone to get what one wants is not a hallmark of a healthy relationship. I do believe that all love is conditional (it's only human) but one can only go so far in pressing the exchange theory of relationships. Thing like honesty, trust, sharing, compassion will go further to resolving conflicts in relationships than fear.
The fight for control occurs in all business and personal relationships, but it is better to feel loved than fear and this applies to all people and animals.
0 Replies
 
HexHammer
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jul, 2014 06:46 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
Lustig Andrei wrote:

Never forget that quite a bit of what Machiavelli says in The Prince is meant as irony. (Most of his contemporaries never caught on to that fact.)
Says who?
0 Replies
 
MWal
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Aug, 2014 02:07 pm
If your feared that means your hates. Don't succumb to it. Live as love. They think they can fight for their loves, but by God, and for love how did it ever get to be a fight.
0 Replies
 
timur
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Aug, 2014 02:16 pm
Hexhammer wrote:
Says who?

This position was the standard one in Europe during the 18th century, amongst the Enlightenment philosophes. Diderot thought it was a satire.
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Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Aug, 2014 04:13 pm
Gen. Sun Tzu 600 BC - "Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys. Look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death!"

Gen Dwight Eisenhower- "You don't lead by hitting people over the head, that's assault, not leadership. Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it"

Napoleon Bonaparte - "A true man hates no one"
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Aug, 2014 04:27 pm
Its best to be paid in full, cash.
0 Replies
 
PhilipOSopher
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2014 04:28 am
@Black King ,
Maybe the feared/loved issue is better interpreted as 'in what way would it be better, as a ruler, in which to manipulate people into obedience?'. A ruler can do this through influencing their subjects to love them, or influencing obedience through fear. But either way is risky, with the only definite assumption made by Machiavelli being 'it is best for a ruler to manipulate their people through psychological influence'. Is this assumption one we should question instead?
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2014 04:32 am
The answer is easy: different poles work best at different times. I tend to find that a mix 80/20 loved/feared works pretty good.
0 Replies
 
carloslebaron
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2014 09:17 am
@G H,
Quote:
Being solely "feared" is a plea for assassination, sooner than later. The Hussein and Gaddafi types wisely did do both: Instill fear where it counted
and buy love where allies were needed. As a result, they prolonged their getting whacked or executed till the ripe old age of 69. Stalin made it all the way to 85 before getting clandestinely poisoned by other party members, because his mental fogginess had apparently progressed to the point of him literally believing that proper emergency preparations and training would enable the USSR to satisfactorily survive a nuclear counter-response from the USA. Despots of Asian countries, like Mao Zedong of China and the "Jong" clan of NK , avoided such altogether due to the benefit of being in cultures favoring social conformity over mutable individuality, which accordingly lacked adequate "deviant/rebel" stimulus and backbone for successfully challenging tyrannical authority.



Was John F. Kennedy feared or loved?

He was assassinated.
0 Replies
 
carloslebaron
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2014 09:24 am
The question between feared or loved will depend on the circumstances and the persons involved. No general answer can be given to that kind of question, it calls for specifics.
0 Replies
 
Ponderer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Aug, 2017 05:08 am
Loved
0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Aug, 2017 02:42 am
@Black King ,
...hmm...long ago I was impressed with the Prince...
Today I rather be dirt poor then feared...no great need to be loved by many either...my small group of friends and my wife are enough. Machiaevelly should have travelled east like Marco Polo did, but to learn about Zen...
Chasing power is like chasing a gold pot at the end of a raibow.
I am quite happy sitting my azz under a tree eating oranges and gazing at leaves rustling in the wind...
Ponderer
 
  0  
Reply Thu 10 Aug, 2017 09:46 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
A few mornings ago, I was returning to my apartment after a still-dark , neighborhood walk. I saw a lady who was probably leaving for work. By coincidence, ( our paths were "coinciding") we were both going toward the mailboxes. I could see that she was uncomfortable. ( Understandably, having received a notice of an armed robbery at the apartments a few days before. ) When I got close enough, I said "Fear not. " She stayed focused on her keys.
The question of "better" to be loved or feared seems to have been misinterpreted by some as "Would you Rather be loved or feared?" To me, it is about being responsible for someone else's feelings. Though I didn't feel "responsible" for her fear, I thought it would have been better if she had felt love.
Earth
The seed begs to see the sun,
perchance some day to bloom,
if only for it,
and for a while.
0 Replies
 
 

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