Is it better to be feared or loved?

Fear of losing the affection of the one you love, or simple fear of losing the person (death). To be open to love requires to be open to risk. Most people aren't.

it's better to be leered

Some people fear those they are "in love with" because to them to love is to empower.

Wow...is it not ?

I think the offer, "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse" combines both!

It is better to be loved. Sometimes being feared will help one get one want he/she wants but along with fear will exists feelings of resentment and hate. It will also nurture subversive thoughts of revenge and other malicious intent. Fear must be used in a tightly controlled and insistent fashion or it will fail.
To be loved, however, nurtures caring, compassion, loyalty, creativity, magnanimity, kindness, self sacrifice and other positive binding and giving emotions. It may also spawn jealousy in some. But overall, it is a much better relationship to have with other human beings. It seems obvious, but this is not always the case in both business and personal relationships.
Business is often driven by those who rule by fear. But that is not a good example of good leadership. Tough love can be part of good leadership and is not driven by fear.
In relationships, the threat of leaving someone to get what one wants is not a hallmark of a healthy relationship. I do believe that all love is conditional (it's only human) but one can only go so far in pressing the exchange theory of relationships. Thing like honesty, trust, sharing, compassion will go further to resolving conflicts in relationships than fear.
The fight for control occurs in all business and personal relationships, but it is better to feel loved than fear and this applies to all people and animals.

Says who?

If your feared that means your hates. Don't succumb to it. Live as love. They think they can fight for their loves, but by God, and for love how did it ever get to be a fight.

This position was the standard one in Europe during the 18th century, amongst the Enlightenment philosophes. Diderot thought it was a satire.

Gen. Sun Tzu 600 BC - "Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys. Look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death!"

Gen Dwight Eisenhower- "You don't lead by hitting people over the head, that's assault, not leadership. Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it"

Napoleon Bonaparte - "A true man hates no one"

Its best to be paid in full, cash.

Maybe the feared/loved issue is better interpreted as 'in what way would it be better, as a ruler, in which to manipulate people into obedience?'. A ruler can do this through influencing their subjects to love them, or influencing obedience through fear. But either way is risky, with the only definite assumption made by Machiavelli being 'it is best for a ruler to manipulate their people through psychological influence'. Is this assumption one we should question instead?

The answer is easy: different poles work best at different times. I tend to find that a mix 80/20 loved/feared works pretty good.

Was John F. Kennedy feared or loved?

He was assassinated.

The question between feared or loved will depend on the circumstances and the persons involved. No general answer can be given to that kind of question, it calls for specifics.

Loved

...hmm...long ago I was impressed with the Prince...
Today I rather be dirt poor then feared...no great need to be loved by many either...my small group of friends and my wife are enough. Machiaevelly should have travelled east like Marco Polo did, but to learn about Zen...
Chasing power is like chasing a gold pot at the end of a raibow.
I am quite happy sitting my azz under a tree eating oranges and gazing at leaves rustling in the wind...

A few mornings ago, I was returning to my apartment after a still-dark , neighborhood walk. I saw a lady who was probably leaving for work. By coincidence, ( our paths were "coinciding") we were both going toward the mailboxes. I could see that she was uncomfortable. ( Understandably, having received a notice of an armed robbery at the apartments a few days before. ) When I got close enough, I said "Fear not. " She stayed focused on her keys.
The question of "better" to be loved or feared seems to have been misinterpreted by some as "Would you Rather be loved or feared?" To me, it is about being responsible for someone else's feelings. Though I didn't feel "responsible" for her fear, I thought it would have been better if she had felt love.
Earth
The seed begs to see the sun,
perchance some day to bloom,
if only for it,
and for a while.