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Wed 17 Mar, 2004 01:15 pm
MOONSONG
Darkness, it's 2:07
The world is glowing
Under her grace
The celestial pearl
Shines down on the nomads
Crossing the sands
And she casts shadows
Which scorpions and sidewinders
Chase after
Far away in a snowy forest
Her beams touch the pines
And illuminate the cliffs
I have seen her many times
On night when Morpheus forgot me
Providing a veil of secrecy
For her children
She controls the waves and dreams
She turns the raindrops on the oak tree branches
Into diamonds.
Ageless beauty, underestimated by man
Like a Mona Lisa, mysterious and eternal
I welcome here, smiling and drinking my wine
The crickets and rustling leaves
Play the moonsong
Outside my window
And I have to say goodbye
When the sun shows its jealousy
BW, Welcome to A2K.
I really think you used diction to its best advantage and the poem flows easily from line to line.
I would suggest that you replace the 2:07 with something more in keeping with the rest of your verses. You made one error, I think, but it was probably a typo..."here" to "her".
I like it, BW. Reminds me of William Stafford's "The Animal that Drank up Sound." and "Silver".
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