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Tue 16 Mar, 2004 06:53 pm
Well, quite simply, I know that there are plenty of posts where someone is asking for advice. I thought I would make things simpler. You come to me, with your troubles, and I will share my wisdom. Have you ever caught yourself thinking "What would Scoates do right now?" That can be a very difficult thing to determine on your own. Now you don't have to! I'll answer ANY question. Even questions on subjects to which I am largely or wholey ignorant.
(Admittedly, at first I thought of starting an "Ask Gus" column, but I didn't want to start it without his permission, and did't want to ask permission onaccounta he's currently after my head.)
Alright, step right up. Who's first?
How do I refinish a grand piano?
When will winter be overwith in Boston?
Joe, your grand piano should already have a glossy black finish. You should keep it that way.
Littlek, you will be happy to hear it has been over for some time!
Why is it illegal to purposely run "power walkers" who walk down the street like Big Bird on crack? That's taking away good times.
You may be confused at the answer to your question, since it doesn't seem to address the question the way you've phrased it. But the answer to that question is that power walkers are freaks. They should choose to either run or walk, and dress accordingly to their choice, rather than some perverted mix of the two.
littlek wrote:When will winter be overwith in Boston?
Judging by the snowstorm I just got out of, around June.
If my head were made of ham, how much would it cost?
How do know my piano has a black glossy finish? Are you spying on me? Are you some kind of window-peeping-creeping stalker as opposed to power walker whom I could semi-illegally run down like a dog!?
(apologies to the dog lovers.
)
How will you survive the beating?
How long do I have to stay under this barrel?
Kicky, surprisingly more than regular ham would cost per pound. In fact, disturbingly more.
Joe, your three answers in order: duh, yes, no.
Gus, I don't expect I will. I've already drawn up a will, and bought two tickets to sweden for my wife and daughter.
Joe, you can come out whenever you're ready.
What is the shortest way from A to B?
I saw this one on Batman once (the animated version) So I know the answer. The shortest way is to come onto C, if B is a promotion, or come onto C's wife if B is a demotion.
What's better, strip bacon or Canadian bacon?
What about sausage? Link or patty?
1)Strip bacon, by far.
2&3)Anything, as long as it's Jimmy Dean
Could your god make a boulder so big....ahh, forget it.
Yes, he could make a boulder that is SO big. I mean SOOO big. A real big boulder.
SCoates wrote:Littlek, you will be happy to hear it has been over for some time!
So, then, what season is it?
It's grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....brrrrrrrrrrrrr season...
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