edgar, Wow! That is fabulous. I love every line. Still taking it in.
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edgarblythe
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 07:02 pm
That one has the cadence of a Bob Dylan song:
Every Grain of Sand.
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Letty
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 07:06 pm
UhOh. Be careful, Texas, Mathos will spirit this one away.
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edgarblythe
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 07:09 pm
I'm sorry, letty. I didn't fully understand your post.
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Letty
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 07:19 pm
My word, edgar. Haven't you seen the thread by Mathos about Robert Allen Zimmerman? Panz even referred him to your Dylan thread.
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edgarblythe
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 07:33 pm
No. I have been a Dylan fan since 1964. I don't want someone else's interpretation of him clashing with mine.
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Letty
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 07:50 pm
Don't blame ya, Texas. I think Mathos was just having some fun, anyway.
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edgarblythe
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 08:01 pm
This thread will serve nicely for a few projects, I think. The original poetic effort remains stymied, but not totally abandonded. I have to get a go at it one day when I am especially lucid and cognitive, I think.
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colorbook
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 09:09 pm
I can envision a story as the poem unfolds; this is a very good one edgar!
...and, this verse truly touched me:
"I gaze upon the portrait
Of my brother who's been gone:
Time itself cannot prorate
The memory and the song"
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edgarblythe
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Tue 5 Apr, 2005 09:14 pm
Autobiographical. My brother and Mom appear frequently in my work, though usually a bit more veiled than that.
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edgarblythe
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Mon 18 Apr, 2005 08:38 pm
This is my current project, still in the works.
No magic pills
Can cure our ills
Like laughter and sun
No trolls in hills
Can spike our stills
Like laughter and sun
Your light is your magic
Your dark too tragic
Be a collector of sun
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edgarblythe
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Wed 20 Apr, 2005 08:30 pm
No magic pills
cure our ills
Like laughter and sun
No trolls in hills
spike our stills
Like laughter and sun
light is magic
dark too tragic
marvel at the sun/Be a collector of sun
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Bekaboo
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Thu 21 Apr, 2005 06:47 am
Hmmmm, without meaning to sound cliche, where is it going? I mean obviously we are centering (how do you spell that?? that looks wrong to me because english spelling is centre... but centring can't be right?? sorry... tangent ) on the sun.... but.... i'm not sure i quite get your motivation
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colorbook
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Thu 21 Apr, 2005 03:28 pm
Edgar, I like the way you portray the "sun and laughter" as a cure for all ills
To me, I think it would be complete if you gave it a title theme.
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edgarblythe
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Thu 21 Apr, 2005 05:17 pm
Still workin at it, folks.
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edgarblythe
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Sun 24 Apr, 2005 08:54 pm
No magic pills
Can cure our ills
Like laughter and sun
No trolls in hills
Can spike our stills
Like laughter and sun
Your light is your magic
Your dark too tragic
Be a collector of sun
Still thinking about it.
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edgarblythe
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Thu 5 May, 2005 09:14 pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No magic pills
Cure our ills
Like laughter and sun
No trolls in hills
Spike our stills
Like laughter and sun
Light is magic
Dark too tragic
Be a collector of sun
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stuh505
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Thu 5 May, 2005 09:24 pm
Edgar,
Your Sun Apr 24 version seems to be the best to me.
However, that is just based upon the sound of it...I have no clue what it means. I think if you explained what it means, I might have some more comments / suggestions for you.
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edgarblythe
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Fri 6 May, 2005 04:59 am
I feel that if I have to explain it, I have failed.
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stuh505
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Fri 6 May, 2005 08:42 am
Hehe, well...perhaps other people will get it. I always take things way too literally to understand other people's metaphors.
Basically, it seems to be saying that only we can make ourselves happy, there is no outside force, embrace the sun and laughter and be merry.
That's probably right. My confusion stems from the second stanza...a troll spiking your stills seems like a bad thing, but it's followed by "like laughter and sun" which qualify it as a good thing.
) on the sun.... but.... i'm not sure i quite get your motivation
