Just wondering what to expect from my judge...

Forums: Legal, Parenting, Custody, Childcare
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My daughter is 18 months old and her father left when I was 4 months pregnant. After 14 months after her birth he reappeared and demanded visitation. Because of the fact that she doesnt know him at all I propsed to do visitation and ill supervise until she becomes familiar with him. He got the bright idea thinking that the courts would award him more so he filed for joint physical and legal custody. When we went to mediation the mediator suggested to the judge we share both physical and legal custody, and to do a stage up visitation plan starting with supervised visitations and condoning his new girlfriend and her children to be present which I believe in a fast paced plan to unsupervised visitation after only 3 weeks of supervised. She has a lot of serious medical conditions hes unwilling to educate himself on by constantly missing doctors appointments and is completely irresposible and unreliable. On the day of our court date I showed up but he did not. Of course this ticked of the judge a lot because he filed, but he also looked at the recommendation and asked me what I wanted? He was willing to give me right then and there temporary sole physical and legal custody, supervised visitations for 8 weeks with a third party professional and he is to pay for it and he hated the suggestion of the girlfriend and kids being thei

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@Kristenstraine,

It sounds like you need a lawyer - maybe. It sort of sounds like the mediator's big ideas got shot out of the water, but it is kind of hard to tell. If the action is not over, and that's the way the mediator thinks, you definately need a lawyer.

Anyway, you now have sole legal custody, and he has 8 weeks of supervised visitation. Is that right? What did the judge order after the eight weeks expire?

If you are going back to court, and a lifetime of visitations are on the line, I can only say again, you need to come up with a lawyer - especially if the next hearing might somehow call your sole custody into question. You could have serious problems if he comes up with his own lawyer, and you have none.

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@Kristenstraine,

Be sure you or your attorney asks for child support payments from him while you are before the judge.

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@Butrflynet,

I missed that. What planet did that mediator come from?

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@roger,

Okay... Again... He did not show up to court so the judge dismissed thr case, meaning no order was made. I dont need an.attorney at this point thanks to all his many mistakes, and he cant afford one... He cant.even afford his.child support and they take 50% of his income... This month I got 144 out of 307.

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@roger,

Sorry, I guess I got cut off and didnt realise... The judge completely dismissed the case because he was so mad. He said these exact words "i could completely modify all these suggestions to your liking which I would be more than happy to do, but frankly hes wasted enough of our time to give him anything. I want to dismiss this case and if he wants to see his daughter he can refile come and talk to me and I MAY entertain the ideas of these suggestions" and that was that.. I was just wanting to know what people think about the judges reaction?

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@Kristenstraine,

Hello Kristenstraine,
I think the judge did what every other judge would do as well. The father of your child filed for joint custody and initial visitation rights and then doesn't even show up for the hearing? I don't think he's very sincere in his quest to be a father now.

I reckon that he wanted joint custody so he doesn't have to pay child support - that's probably the main reason. Now his wages are garnished
and he's upset about it. So be it! Let him file again if he wants to change things, but my guess is that the next judge will be even less favorable to his plea.

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@CalamityJane,

I figured that all judges would be that... I was just scared going into court because most judges just go with the mediation recommendation, but this judge acted as if he agreed with my disagreements with the recommendation. And I thought it was stupid the mediator said its appropriate for the girlfriend and kids should be present cuz it should be about her getting to know her father and I told tge mediator they would be distractions and he disregarded what I said but.when I went into court I didnt want to sound pety by bringing it up but the judge did... He said "what is this? Why are they involved? Did you agree to this?" Haha... I love that judge! He might as well have taken tgat recommendation, ripped.it into a million little pieces abd thrown it away! He was agreeing to everything I was saying about it! Sole physical and legal custody- "sure, sounds appropriate" supervised visitations with a professional- "sure, sounds appropriate for this situation and he can pay for it too" and his face.when.he asked me if she had a relationship with.him and I said hes spent 18 hours with him

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Just wondering what to expect from my judge...

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