"If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it"

Fragile
Rigid memoir
Stuck in not my head
Where is my shadow
There with fragmented everything
I am a straight coil
Living on a turmoilic die
Lingering far from breaking my death
How is that to work with whispering?

There goes a screamer's blow
Coming closer slowly nothing dashed
Where is my wrath mirror?
Spirited to fuming query
Blank to nothing white can show
So to be true, reflections just crash
There is no what to utter
If there is any why for heavenly

So angel to believe
My anger flirting with me
Let blood live
And so there is more for me to be

Can I trust my fragility more?

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My decay
My sole Christ
My initial sense of roots
My subject of dispute

Strong emotions bleed
Discreet me, disarming
Brokenly sinking me to nothing

Standing on all ends
Drowning now, falling down
Raging imageries of relief

Broken into a thousand pieces
My late-night screamings
Ugly twisted horror
State of expression having pleasure
Could I not be put back together again
My decay

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Outside
Lurking depth into my inside
Knowing not who I see outside
Run far from my blindsight
Furiously to someplace I can hide
With the outsides of my kind

Of shattered flames
And solemness
I write around my mind
As I conceal my shames
Around coats of awayness
With sheets of sins compiled

Let me be
Without an inside
I have no need of me
Fighting against myself for my right

I'm just another outsider

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Abrupt Meaning
Make her a dagger
Piercing through an eye
Frequenting
Worth with order like never
And a hark heard without lie
Promising
A vague memoir of forever
Statued to ignite
Nothing

Crescenting a light
As if it was possible
Just like the hope of hers
Fades with every might
Of effortness she has abled
Maybe telling a tale of another curse

Tore and his answer
Leaping within beyond
Chaseness cease on

Selfly he proclaimed
A thousand and a part
He longs still for her heart

She is well... not.

Meanings:
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Fragile
This is a song I wrote for an aussie friend of mine. This poem is written in her point of view.

She was having a tough time cus her friend was beaten up by a guy at a party. My friend was feeling so down and she was in complete disbelief (first verse). The second verse is actually in a form of paranoid flashbacks (from a general point of view, hers or her friend's). The third verse is how she snaps back to reality but at the same time being more cautious and wiser, knowing that anything could happen to anyone at anytime. Where it says 'Can I trust my fragility more?', it means she always thought that those things won't happen to her. Now that she knows they could, she's sceptical about her strength cus she always thought she was stong enough.

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My Decay
This song I wrote quite a few months back. I was having problem with my faith. Yes, I was and still am a Christian, but I'm not sure by faith, weather I am or not.

As you can see in the first verse, it's a very straight forward that at the time I was writing this, I am 'disputing my faith'. The second, third and fourth verse is about my psychological state. If you read carefully they are not imageries but actually me being paranoid. Yes, I'm kinda paranoid. I'm working on it and stuff. Yea yea, I'm not perfect. I'm decaying.

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Outside
Okey, this one is less personal and more general unlike My Decay. I wrote this like ages ago and it doesn't sound at all like any of my writings now. It's too plain and too not my style of writing.

This one is (generally) about being schizoid. No, I'm not schizoid, but sometimes, when you feel a little different, you tend to be introverted a little. I was in that state when I wrote this. As you can see, there is also a little about fear of rejection plus paranoia which is kinda personal. Where it says run far... to someplace I can hide. Then the end is the giving in to the fact that I am different and do not belong.

No, I don't like this one. It sucks.

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Abrupt Meaning
I wrote this very recently. This is a general imagery poem. It's meant to be exaggerated. There were actually two seperate writings and I put them into one.

This one is more epic story-like. But it's not totally a made up story. It's about being failed and having failed others. The 'she' in the poem is being failed. 'She' is at the same time failing the 'he'. It happens all the time. When I wrote this, I was on vacation. My friend was having a problem and I couldn't be there to help her. I failed her. And I so wanted to help her but I couldn't. I failed me. That's basically what it's all about.

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Do take note that all my poems are written sorta subcontiously. That's why I don't write all the time. I write when inspiration strikes and it's always better that way. I don't force myself to write. So sometimes (well most of the times) I don't know what and why I'm writing about until I reread it. Then I understand what and why am I writing it. It happens when you are doing something subconsciously.

And the ones I wrote years back and find it too childish for my type...

Untitled
I'll hurt your agony
Maybe a little more compulsive
Because I'm dying here too
All I am, wander weary
Off the line of creative
Lost all hopes for you
To the things I ever cheated

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Last night
The city's dark and outside its not safe
The nights obscure every beam there's left
The secculence of the ambiance could not be denied
Daddy's at the corner, had his guitar on his lap
Mommy's feeling secure on his side
The string strummed and a tune or two she sang
It was like a long lost friend just rang

It was a beautiful night, last night
The night the world turned ugly
Even uglyness in sight
Has its own value of beauty

Well she doesnt anticipate last night being tonight or tomorrow
And even if she does the significance won't show
Nothing's going to come about twice or more
Perhaps an exception to war
It just happens and happens
The human race never seems to learn

She wants her daddy back
Wants her mommy not to be sad
And her brother's gone far away
Can't she have hin again
Just to relieve her pain
Her will to go on just dies away

Last night things were poles apart.

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Knowing you
its a striking day today
the clear blue sky
the pastures are green and fresh
the creatures are liberated and the bird soar high
its good to have things this way
to have life to the fullest
to have known you
but it is knowing you are gone
that leaves me alone
i am moving on
but had to leave you behind

the day couldn't be so beautiful
the sky couldnt be so clear
the pastures and the field should be bold and pale
birds and beast live in fear
but it is knowing you live on
as a memory in my heart
and breathing in paradise where we'll unite
that makes my days not too hard
even without you

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Like The Wind
Beneath the tree
A man tried to sing - he has no voice;
But to the soil the leaves fell
Picked one up onto his palms;
Blew through and to the air it flew
On his palm - he has not anything;
But through his lips -
He whistled like the wind;

Simple things ignore the disgrace.

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Untitled
We spurred hardly aware
We live against breathed air
And how we ask

Frauding around illusionated care
We die still fighting dismay
Why we still ask

Like wooden gospel and soulless lies
We dream to live, awaking to die
Sleeping through life and death

Like letting go

Well, I apparently missed this thread.....I like this stuff, it's all pretty good to me.....a cool way with words.