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Fri 6 Feb, 2004 02:48 pm
Shifting snow,burning fires glow
In the dark
The mountains echo her haunting voice.
She's come for me
Thats no lie
Theres anger in the sky.
Her voice fills me with fear
She crys in the night
Sometimes until daylight.
I know that she's here.
What more can I say
She's the one that walked away.
Left me broken hearted to this day
Sometimes when I'm lying under a tree
She's staring at me.
I remember that day
Eyes full of tears
Don't leave,please stay.?
You were gone the next day
He promised you Heaven on Earth
You died in that crash, that day.
You did not deserve, die that way.
If you'd stayed
You'd be here Today.
Why does your spirit
Haunt me this way?
So rest in peace.
I forgive you. thats all i say
So it's Joseph from Scotland, is it? <smile>
Did this incident truly occur? Did the woman die in a plane crash atop a mountain? You've made it quite obvious that her decision cost her her life. Does she blame the narrator of the poem?
Joe, if I might make one or two suggestions:
See if you can find other word choices for "that day". If the word or phrase doesn't vary, it loses its impact.
Instead of "that's no lie", consider "I feel her by"
You have become quite prolific, Joe. Keep it up.
Yes i too recommend mixing the word"day" up. It's a little too frequent.
Thank you both I knew the word day was a bit to much used lazy I guess. From now on I will be more careful. Your advise is appreciated.
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Very poignant Joe. Hope that it is not your story. Maggie
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