Thu 8 Mar, 2012 04:29 pm
Backstory: I have known this woman for over ten years, she has an alcohol problem with history of violence while drinking. We had a falling out because of her problems and just now started to get back in touch, thinking she had got help for herself specially after having a child. Her son is overly aggressive and has been for months towards adults and children a like.
Issue: I called last night to confirm some plans to get together and catch up but while we were on the phone she said "hold on a second" and in the backround I heard her scream at her 1 year old "g*d d*mn it you a*shole, what the f*ck were you thinking? f*cking little a*shole" (she used the childs name but for obvious reasons Im keeping this as anonymous as possible)
After returning to the phone I was mortified, she then began to joke about calling her one year old an a*shole and was not ashamed to almost brag about it. Note that it was because he was stepping on some paper. Now Im a parent myself, Im dedicated but not perfect. So I mentioned it being a extreme and she told me, "he is horrible he is an a*shole" and then suggested he come stay with me awhile so he would learn to be a nice boy.
Should I call someone? Should it be investigated? There have been times I know they cant keep food in the house as well. I have talked to her but she doesnt seem to take what is going around her seriously. When I do she suggests I take him and let my son teach him to be a good boy instead of putting in the effort herself. I have only been around the little boy once without her there, and have not noticed any bruises or signs of physical abuse. But the signs for mental abuse are overwhelming.
Is there any possible way you could take her up on her offer to let him come live with you?
Anytime you witness child abuse, and what you describe is abuse, you should call child protective services. The child protective agency will decide whether they will investigate or not based on the information. Whether they take immediate action or not will be their decision but they will certainly keep the info you provide and have it on hand if there are any further reports. If everyone hesitates calling then there could be a series of incidents all unreported. Remember child protective services aren't in the punishment business, they are there to protect the child AND become a resource for caregivers who need help and skills to care for their children. You could just set something good in motion for this child.
Yup - make that call.
She sounds like she will reveal herself to anyone who comes thru the door.
You are just shedding some sunlight on a very worrisome situation.