Have you ever not attended an event due to principal?

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This is in reference to Tim Thomas not going to the White House. Made me think have you or do you know some one that missed a big event (or small for that matter) due to their principals?

I've heard of people not going to weddings or funerals because of this. Sometimes it is petty sometimes it is because they would feel a hypocrite. I know a cousin of mine did not go to my wedding because she knew her mom would be there. She sent me a nice note - but would not attend.

Is there something you would miss because of principal?

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Type: Question • Score: 18 • Views: 3,343 • Replies: 48

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@Linkat,

I don't go to weddings if I don't know both parties and/or I don't care if the marriage makes it.

About 30 years ago I was at a wedding where the priest made a BIG point of having everyone saying out loud (together, not one by one) that they agreed to be a support to the couple if they needed us in the future. It kinda hit me between the eyes that I didn't know them that well, didn't particularly care about their futures (individually or as a couple), and didn't want to say I'd be there for them forever. It made me rethink going to weddings just to be at a party with friends.

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@Linkat,

Sure. And it's usually my loss but so what? I've got strong convictions and principles. I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror.

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@ehBeth,

(smile) I like that you put thought into what they ask before you commit. So many just don't think about it first.

I generally tend to think of the individual. If I feel like I need to be there to support THEM then I will go. I don't consider the politics or the right or wrong of the situation. I can't even imagine choosing not to go to something because someone I don't like who will be there.

Regardless of whether I agree with their reasons or the basis of the event - if they need support, I want to support them. If I cannot make it - I will write a note. I suppose it depends on the reason for the event as well...I can't think of anything I would totally avoid unless it was a human sacrifice or something like that. I am pretty sure I would call the police if I got invited to something like that.

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@Linkat,

I haven't. I could see a situation where it might happen (a political speaker at church for example) but Thomas did not skip out on the SOTU address because of any principle. If a Republican President was to stand up there and use the speech as a campaign tool, he'd be cheering in the stands. Every SOTU address is a campaign speech. His act was a political ploy. He's just too cowardly to yell out "you lie". What principle is expressed by missing a wedding because you don't like one of the guests? The principle of maxiumum selfishness? I like Beth's comments. That sounds like a principle instead of an excuse.

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During the 1970's some of my coworkers had the bright idea of having our Christmas luncheon at the Playboy Club in Chicago. Quite a few refused to attend on principle.

(not me, though Embarrassed

)

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@engineer,

I think Tim Thomas is a hockey player who refused to join his Stanley Cup winning teammates from visiting the WH.

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@JPB,

I have strong convictions and principles as well...but I always tend to be for the person and not worry about the rest. I am pretty sure folks know where I stand most of the time.

Truly - just can't think of a good example of why I wouldn't go to something. I don't necessarily think going to something means I support the event wholeheartedly.

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@wandeljw,

Quote:

During the 1970's some of my coworkers had the bright idea of having our Christmas luncheon at the Playboy Club in Chicago. Quite a few refused to attend on principle.

(not me, though )

Okay - I probably wouldn't go to the Playboy club...but that isn't really about supporting an individual - so I am pretty sure I wouldn't be conflicted at all about that one Wink

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@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

I don't go to weddings if I don't know both parties and/or I don't care if
the marriage makes it.

About 30 years ago I was at a wedding where the priest made a BIG point
of having everyone saying out loud (together, not one by one) that they
agreed to be a support to the couple if they needed us in the future. It
kinda hit me between the eyes that I didn't know them that well, didn't
particularly care about their futures (individually or as a couple), and didn't
want to say I'd be there for them forever. It made me rethink going to
weddings just to be at a party with friends.

Food for thought. Thanks.

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@engineer,

I agree and I thought it was lame of her - it isn't like I would seat her any where near her mom knowing how she felt. But honestly I personally don't dwell on this myself. Everyone has to make their own determininations on what they feel is right/wrong or just plain old weird.

My good friend said she wouldn't attend my wedding because she just came off a big breakup and couldn't feel good about going to a wedding. To me that's odd - I mean wouldn't you want to support your friend even if it is hard for you? But that's me and I never got angry or upset at her. I mean it is your personal decision so be it. My uncle wouldn't go because every year he goes on this trip that particular weekend. It bothered my mom (her words you go away every year, but your niece only gets married once) - but I could care less.

I've heard of people not attending weddings because children aren't invited - they get offended their precious little monster can't go. I've heard just so many different things for the oddest reasons. Just found it interesting.

I typically don't take so much personally - just find that some things are interesting and seem odd to me where you take a stand and why.

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@JPB,

yeah - sorry I didn't give background on that - being in Boston it is a huge deal. I can see his point sort of - I just think it odd - he is the losing out and may regret it in the future. Either way I don't see it as being a big deal. I'm sure the President isn't losing sleep over it and it wasn't a political thing - just a congrats sort of thing for winning the Stanley Cup.

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@JPB,

JPB wrote:

I think Tim Thomas is a hockey player who refused to join his Stanley Cup winning teammates from visiting the WH.

Wow, how embarassing. I was thinking of Rep. Doug Lamborn who boycotted the SOTU address.

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It's one of the great things about America - you're free to be as big a douche as you want.

Cycloptichorn

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@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

This is in reference to Tim Thomas not going to the White House. Made me think have you or do you know some one that missed a big event (or small for that matter) due to their principals?

You mean an event that I would have liked to go to if it hadn't been for my principles, but stayed away from because of them? No, I can't think of any. To me, principles are for having online discussions about, not for living by.

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@Thomas,

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We have a neighborhood association. Once a month the meeting is held at the Salvation Army. I don’t attend for that reason and neither does anyone else who happens to be gay in this community. The Salvation Army has been known for denying financial assistance and shelter to people living with HIV.

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@mismi,

can I have your ticket then, missy?

I want to go and read the articles there...

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@jcboy,

jcboy wrote:

We have a neighborhood association. Once a month the meeting is held at the Salvation Army. I don’t attend for that reason and neither does anyone else who happens to be gay in this community. The Salvation Army has been known for denying financial assistance and shelter to people living with HIV.

Shame on the Salvation Army. I did not realize they did that. During the 1990's I was still attending Catholic church. Some Catholic leaders also expressed a callous attitude towards HIV. Not all Catholic leaders, though.

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@Linkat,

Are we talking about events that involve free food? As I can't see myself turning down an invitation to most events which involve free food and little to no expense on my account. I would turn down invites to Tea Party rallies, fundamentalist Christian meet-ups, and other politically repugnant events.

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Have you ever not attended an event due to principal?

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