Is it right to force you kids into religion and other things

In a perfect world, children would not be treated as chattel. Perhaps such a world will someday come, although i doubt it. It is worth considering that many parents may do this sort of thing in the fervent belief that they are doing the best they can by the child. Such misunderstanding and lack of communication is a fixture of everyone's life. Without knowing the specifics of any particular case, i think it would be unfair to judge from the outside. As far as society and the law are concerned, of course, unless someone demonstrably endangers their child, how they are raised is not anyone else's business. I understand your point, and agree with it; i don't see that this situation is likely to change.

Speaking for myself, I answered my kids' questions about religion as best I could, but left them on their own choosing or rejecting religion. One turned out an atheist, one belongs to a church and two are noncommital. I am satisfied we all did our best.

I don't see it changing either anytime soon or maybe even ever but maybe this forum is the start. hehe

You can't have rebellious, independent thinkers
unless you give them some type of force to fight against.


PS -- Not sure what you mean by "annalistic". Can you explain what that means to you?

Meaning I analyze everything, think everything out every possible way, taking everything into consideration. if someone can explain it better please do.

I think you might mean "analytical." I am, too! Welcome to A2K.

Analytic, I think you mean.

I hate the idea of kids being forced into a religion - though most paents will want to expose their children to their beliefs - whether they be religious, atheist, political etc.

Lots of parents I have as friends have discussed various belief systems with their children (most people I know are atheist - but did not want to force this on their kids, either) and, if the children were interested, took them along to see more about the religion, or other belief system.

It is hard though. Of course parents (generally)want their kids to grow up with strong ethical values. It must be terribly hard if you are religious and believe you know the right path not to really, really want your children to share it! It is also hard if you have strong political beliefs - it must take enormous discipline (and even the WILL to have such discipline involves a concept of your beliefs not being necessarily the only "truth") to give your children real freedom and choice.

I guess I think the best we can do is give our kids a strong curiosity and a firm belief that treating people well is really important. But this is imposing MY beliefs!

Parents have an obligation to teach their children the things they need to know in order to have a good life. One of those things is understanding religion, and yes, parents have a right to require that their young children observe the customs of their religion. We also have the right to make them go to school, clean their rooms, dress appropriately, and eat their vegetables.

I took my kids to church, Sunday school and confirmation classes, but made it clear to them that even though I wanted them to understand the religious culture into which they were born, it was their choice what to believe and whether to be confirmed. One was, one wasn't and since then they have both changed their minds about God/religion. I expect that their beliefs will change significantly over time. And that is fine with me.

I was brought up in my parent's religion. Yeah, come to think of it, it was forced on me. It was only when I was a young teenager, that I realized, unlike public school, it was not illegal NOT to go to religious classes. So I quit.

I was quite the rebel as a kid, so that I began to question my birth religion. The more that I learned, the more that I found that I was not in agreement with the tenets of that faith, as well as any other.

I would not say that going to religious school was a total washout. There were certain values (oh, how that word is overused, nowadays) that I learned, as well as a historical perspective of my roots.

I think the key word of the question is "force". If you're forcing them, then it can't be doing any good, no matter what you expect them to get out of it.

I was enrolled in Sunday school even though my family wasn't overly religious, but I don't remember ever being forced. At the time, it was the thing to do and I never minded it.
Over the years I have grown not to like organized religion at all and I don't believe in the bible, yet I still believe in God. I never enrolled my son in Sunday school nor have I ever taken him to church, but I have spoken with him about what I believe and what some others believe and he has grown to believe what I believe. He is free to believe what he wants without having to worry about judgement from me, as long as he doesn't come preaching to me and start quoting the bible because I won't hear any of that.

Seems to me that if you are a parent committed to a religion -- and truly consider the religion to be worthwhile -- you are almost forced yourself into a position of requiring your children to adopt that religion and its teachings.

To suppose a person could be committed to a religion and not take that step is, in my opinion, rather naive -- and almost demands that the parent be a hypocrite.

I suspect there will be a day when the tide changes (there will be more agnostics and atheists than theists), but for now, I see less wrong in religious parents requiring their kids to adopt their (the parents) religion -- than with the alternatives -- whatever they are.

(I have the same reservations about the use of "force them" that Wilso has.)

The more I attend church the more I have concluded that is has moved more to a political gathering then a religious one. What does everyone think?

I don't attend any church, so i have not answer for that, Boss. I would observe that from the outside, it does seems that church members have become more political, but that's an anectdotal observation by a non-participant.

I was forced until college and I don't resent it one bit. Of course I did at the time but really, it was either socializing at church or watching tv so I wasn't against church.

Church is very important for immigrants like my family. I made many of my closest friends in church as did my mother. I wouldn't want my children to be denied that.

But even beyond the social aspect, religion is rich in tradition and I do not wish to deny my children that either. My family still practices ancestral worship though we don't actually believe in it. I hated that too as a kid when I was forced. But now I'm glad that I was brought up with that tradition.

So I will make my kids go to church. But they'll have to go with their mother because I have to watch TV.

good one Boss . . .

heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee . . .

okbye

I think the word "forced" is very loaded. You need to explain what you mean by this.

But that being said, I think it is completely appropriate.

There are many things that I "force" my kids to do. This is part of the role and responsibility of a parent.

I was certainly "expected" to go to church with my parents. I don't think that this was unhealthy.

I expect my kids to go to school. Is this "forcing" them? I don't know - but at times I need to make it clear that if they don't get up they will regret it. I guess this is forcing.

I also expect my kids to be there when my family eats dinner. With my teenager, this has recently become an issue. But this is a part of our family, and yes, I will "force" my kids to attend.

There are many family traditions that I would not allow my kids to skip out on. (Fortunately these traditions are also meaningful for the kids and this is not an issue.). But they are a part what it means to be a part of my family.

So yes, If a family is religious, it is completely appropriate for parents to "expect" and even "force" their kids to be a part of it. I think a good parent will allow the kids to question the traditions and encourage them to explore.

But parents do have the responsibility to pass on culture, values and traditions. Religion is a big part of this for many families.

When I was growing up, my father was a Quaker. They have always been very political.

My family was very involved in the Civil movement and the anti-Vietnam movements. These movements were organized by the church, and my parents stayed connected to them through the church.

I recently visited the Quaker church here. They are very active in the current anti-war movement as well as working to advance gay rights and immigrant rights. You will understand that these political issues are very important to church members if you spend any time in their services.

So to me, religion and politics have always been very strongly connected. I have never found this to be a problem.

But it's not just religion, there's also politics, amongst other parents' beliefs that are pushed onto children.
One example: I've seen Serbian & Croatian children (here in Oz schools) involved in physical attacks on each other directly as a result of indoctrination from their parents. Perpetuation of their parents' old hatreds & conflicts from another time & another place. Most of the children involved were born in Australia.