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Sat 24 Jan, 2004 03:06 pm
Don't cross this bridge
I heard them say
Do at your peril
Come what may.
I watched there eyes
With sadness and pain
Never to return ever again
The lady in black.
I stare and look
Head bowed in her prayer book
I'm just a lad I don't understand
The sadness I could almost touch her hand.
Dear lady I wish I could walk
With you part of the way
You seem all alone,
No one with you to pray.
I'm just a boy but I'll help you carry your cross
Their's something wrong
You seem at a loss
She said no thanks and moved away.
The poor lady and husband
Had parted a year that day
As she walked in the distance
Still she would pray.
With angels to guide her
On her way
With tears in my eyes
I understood that day.
To god I will always pray
To keep safe the poor lady on her way.
Hey, Joe. Still following your progress and here is a brief critique:
I think you mean peril instead of pearl.
Their instead of there.
Those are just minimal things, though, Joe. You have done well in painting the picture of a bereaved woman, and thereby touched the soul of those who have ".....loved and lost."
Thank Letty sorted out the errors. Glad for your advise.
Joe, do you realize that you can edit your posts? I have had to do so many times because of mistakes.
This time, your point of view was through the eyes of a young man. Unblievable.
Letty I appreciate your comments so much, which will help me improve a lot.
When I started writing poetry which has only been two weeks, I did not expect any feed-back, I was not sure if I would be any good. I think I have even suprised myself THANKS AGAIN.
Joe
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