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Mon 24 Oct, 2011 02:15 pm
To be fair I don't even know what the current situation is in the eyes of the law. I was not married to my ex, we had a child. I was the bread winner and for 2 years he took care of child care during the day and I at night when he worked only a little due to having lost his licence through DUI. Then he decided he wanted to leave me and left me with the job of finding an extra £700 per month of child care costs. He moved into a rented flat and maintained he could not even pay half of this sum due to the rent he had to pay, now he was working again. We had a deed of separation in which I gave him £9 k cash, a car, a computer and I capitalised his maintenance payments at £275 PCM (the best i could achieve) until the child reached school age, this was to buy him out of the house to which he had contributed no capital but which had increased in value during our time together by 44 k.
In terms of access to his son, no legal things were put in place apart from the deed of separation stated his place of residence was with me. Until now things have been amicable and he has seen his son very other weekend and every other Thursday evening, taken holidays at will with agreement. He has since married the lawyer he saw at the time of the separation! Which inevitably makes me feel a little on the back-foot now things are no longer amicable. He refuses to pay and more than £150 pcm now our son is at school and claims the csa would not him make him pay more, infact less. However he is self employed and evades tax, so his accounts do not show a true picture of his income. It is not about the money, more the fact that despite he is able, he will not pay even 1 quarter of the amount needed to upkeep his son and yet demands to have equal rights and t be able to call the shots.
So, here are the questions: 1. who has legal custody of the child at the moment ? Me or joint ? Can I apply to have sole custody ? Can he apply to formalise joint custody ? Can he apply to take away my son from me and have sole custody ? Should I make a motion to the courts before he does?
I can't believe that you have gotten this far - working out so many financial arrangements - and you don't know about your son.
You seem to have sole physical custody, but he has visitation rights.
You cannot prevent him from seeing his son, unless he is declared as an unfit parent. And even then, sometimes monitored visitations take place.
It sounds like you are doing OK financially by yourself. Raise your son and forget about that guy.
@PUNKEY,
Thank you. It as never seemed important to know my legal position until now. I have always put my son's best interests first and those being a good reationship with his father. It's so important for boys especially to have a father figure, indeed more so as they reach adolescence, despite my personal feelings, I have put them secondary. He is not an unfit parent. But he is now married to a lawyer, so cost is no deterrent to taking my son away from me and then claiming maintenance from me!! Can this happen? Bear in mind I am in the UK, not the US. I only mention this a you used the word 'gotten' !! :-)
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