driving

Ann sat in the passenger seat while her husband got in the drivers side. He fixed the mirrors, put the seatbelt on and looked at Ann and said

"Seatbelt love you know the rules, we don't want any problems on the first day out do we"
Ann did as she was told but thinking this is a big mistake one that I am going to Regret.

"Right sweetheart were shall we go, how about down the side streets that should be easy enough for you after all we don't want to run before we can walk do we"

Ann looked at him and said sarcastically
"Oh no Ian we wouldn't want to do that would we".

There were driving along at 20mph the next thing this blue corsa, car came out of nowhere, Ian decided to blast the horn in a fit of rage, when this did not pacify him he opened the window and shouted to Ann's embarrassment
"You stupid cow are you sure you have a driving licence and not a bloody dog licence. Women drivers, they should stay at home and leave the driving to the men".

"That's enough Ian for gods sake your embarrassing me"
"Embarrassing you we could have been killed and you have the cheek to say I am embarrassing you oh grow up women I'm the one that's doing the driving not you"

Ann said nothing what would be the point he knew it all. The expert, or so he would like to think.

"I am sorry love"
Ian said tenderly.
Grovelling time thought Ann.

Men they were all the same they knew they were in the wrong and saying sorry solved it all.
Why did I agree to go out with him? I must be bloody stupid

"I said I was sorry repeated Ian are you going to stay in a huff"
"No of course not I was miles away that's all" I wish said Ann to herself.

"Look said Ian do you fancy going on the motorway? It would be no problem you know, two minutes and we would be their, what do you say?"
"If you wish dear you know best"
Replied Ann, thinking at the same time he always does the stupid idiot.

70mph on the motorway Ian was in his element, shouting and pumping his horn at the women drivers. Funny how it was at women and not men. He shouted at. Right enough men were far superior to the little female population. Ann was beginning to get angry she shouted to Ian
"Will you bloody stop making a show of yourself before you get stopped by the police?"
"No wonder did you see that women in the ford fiesta, she must have been doing at least 80mph and in the slow lane as well"
Ann was exasperated shaking her head she said
"And what business is it of yours she wasn't in your way. I don't know you're the limit at times you really are"
"Calm down dear you're getting yourself worked up it's not worth it you know"
Ann gave up it was hopeless, she knew it was going to be hellish, going in the car with Ian but she never though it would be this bad.

"I want to go home Ian I've had enough"
"I don't blame you love I really don't. Those women drivers have a lot to answer for. We can't even enjoy a drive in the car anymore without them trying to cause an accident. I mean that last driver the green Morris minor, that one in the slow lane doing 80mph I know how she passed her test?"
"Oh please do tell" said Ann sarcastically
"Well it's obvious she wore a short skirt to show her legs right up to her thighs. You see dear that's probably, what put the poor driving instructor off from doing his job properly. The things women get up to get a man's attention they would do anything to get what they want. I'm telling you they are better in the kitchen getting their men's tea ready that's all their good for"

"Look did you see that sports car? She must have been doing, 100 miles at least and she just cut right in front of me did you see her.? I'm going after her"
Putting his foot down Ian was working up to the 100 miles Ann shouted
"For gods sake slow down now,"
Ian was not listening zooming after the driver. Ann shouted again
"I mean it slow down before you kill us both"
Ian slowed back down to a steady 60mph.
"Get me home now Ann said angrily."

Outside there home Ann got out of the car and slammed the door Ian said
"Don't be upset love come on we will go into the house and I will make you a nice cup of tea how does that sound?
"Go to hell I have had it with you, driving like a lunatic"
"But it was that crazy women driver you seen her she could have caused a crash"
"How do you know it was a women driver Mr know it all if they were going that fast"
"Well because only a woman would drive like that"
"Oh of course how silly of me a man would never drive like that, they are much more superior. Men are good at everything you bloody pig"
"Now Ann there's no need for that, calm down. Now tell me how I did"
Ann couldn't believe it he was so thick and so full of himself
"Well Ian since you seem to think women should leave the driving to the men I suggest you get yourself a bloody male driving instructor instead of me"
"But love your my wife why shouldn't you teach me"
"Oh how silly of me i'm your wife and the mother of your kids I don't count as a women, but I'm sure
The last time I checked I was definitely a woman"
"Now your being silly Ann you know what I mean" replied Ian feeling a bit embarrassed.
Ann's anger was getting the better of her she shouted
"I am never taking you out for a lesson again do you hear, Instead of trying to act like Mr Scrooge invest your money in a driving instructor, not that I have much hope in you ever passing your test"