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"The Originals"

 
 
Bambino
 
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 09:10 am
Rapping and just writing music. Write your stuff. Just for letting out your writing. Mainly for rappers.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,599 • Replies: 21
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SHRecords
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 09:22 am
Glad to see you're excited Bambino! Glad to know you write on paper too. Can't wait to see your guys' writing!
Bambino
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 10:05 am
@SHRecords,
Check out the neverending rap battle too, a lot of artists' on there.
SHRecords
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 10:07 am
@Bambino,
Will do, thanks.
0 Replies
 
Whitmofomonkysmugla2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 10:14 am
Just leave

(Verse 1)
Why do relationships always gotta come with complications
At one point we both enjoyed our never ending conversations
Now it's just a life filled with frustrations and no explainations
Sorry I don't meet ur "qualifications" 
Ur gonna leave me for him fine congradgulations
Cuz i'm done so don't come crawling back 
But I still got this pain in my chest like an emotional heart attack
And yet u still talk smack about the guy who gave u all he could
U don't understand how stongly I feel I'm so misunderstood
My heart has become colder and colder
Oh that's mature give me the cold shoulder
I'm done with your emotional roller coasters 
Might as well delete my contact cuz were over
Don't get me wrong I still think about u when I'm alone 
But every time u call and ur name pops up on my phone 
I delete the message and leave u to cry on ur own
Cuz I'm not gonna listen to ur problems I'm not ur therapist
..................(pause) Sorry I was just starting to reminice

(Hook)
I just want to be alone 
In a place I call my own
Where my feelings can't be shown
My mind is swirled 
I need a place in this world
So can you just leave...

(Verse 2)
I look back at all the great memories I could be missing
I think about the late nights we spent kissing
Wow look at me reminicing
I can't believe I'm sittin here cryin for you 
But now it feels like I'm dieing for you 
How could you leave me for that guy 
I'm better than him but u don't think so no matter how hard I try 
I'm better than him and I know that for a fact 
And u will to when u come crawling back  
They always do but by then the feelings are gone
And I've moved on
I'm a lifeless soul of who I used to be
Emotionally crippled look at what you've done to me
I let out my emotions lyrically
Instead of my anger physically
U aren't the person I thought u were if only I knew that from the start
But no matter what you'll always have a special spot in my heart

(Hook x2)              

Somethin emotional to start it off
SHRecords
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 11:01 am
@Whitmofomonkysmugla2,
Really good. Like your scheme as well. A lot of words that I like to see, you rhyming. I like that you put a hook in there. You and Bambino's writing is very similar. Overall good writing. I'd say that was a A. Some of the things could've been misleading but it was good. You work out of a studio?
Whitmofomonkysmugla2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 11:14 am
@SHRecords,
Nah but my cousin is in the process of building one so eventually I'll be able to get into it

and justvwondering but what did u find misleading?
SHRecords
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 11:17 am
@Whitmofomonkysmugla2,
It wasn't misleading as much as it was that someone could take it in a wrong way. But that's what rap and music is about. Great job.
Whitmofomonkysmugla2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 11:22 am
@SHRecords,
Thank you anything I could improve on... I'm open to all suggestions
SHRecords
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 11:23 am
@Whitmofomonkysmugla2,
So far, well there is always room for improvement, but so far you seem pretty good for your age at 14, 15? I see could things for your age.
Whitmofomonkysmugla2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 11:25 am
@SHRecords,
Turnin 15 in October
0 Replies
 
charliesforce
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 03:41 pm
(Alecia Keys Unthinkable Freestyle)

I wanna live.....

Life, Bordering Open Sea's
Wife, Forking in Groceries
Nice, Porche with a Golden Key
No Police Patrolling Me
Who Hope to Seize some Coke n Weed
My "Stolen Coat n Jeans"
These Broken Teeth are Trophies from a Homeless Teen
Not Feins
Yes I Am, Who i Am
A Spokesman for the Folks with Dreams
If Lonely Roll with Me this Road is Cold and Bleak
Let Moses Lead.........
Yo
I am the Voice of the Voiceless,
Thats getting kinda Cliche
But Thesedays, Emcees Say
What He Says, and He Makes that Creamcake
But im not in in for the Money
Thats a Priveledge to be Given
Im just Spitting coz im Hungry


Just a quick freestyle exploring different complex whyme schemes
BombScare
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 04:22 pm
@charliesforce,
a little subliminal diss at Bambino in that?
Whitmofomonkysmugla2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 04:28 pm
@BombScare,
Not even close?
0 Replies
 
charliesforce
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2011 04:28 pm
@BombScare,
Lol your reading too deep into things, but seeing as you can picture a subliminal diss i would say it means my writing means a lot of things, however no i did not intentionally diss Bambs
samyboy27
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Sep, 2011 03:36 pm
@charliesforce,
aww man ya switched sites?????
i did more freestyles dam it
0 Replies
 
SHRecords
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Sep, 2011 05:31 pm
@charliesforce,
Okay... I got a couple questions that may be helpful to me to understand.

I think you may be a London mistific emsee. You have that pronunciation that helps so mildly for you. You have that talent that no too many have. As you know there are tons of styles of rap. You have that edgy style that makes it so gracious for your part in the rap game. You have great sequences in these lyrics becasue of the transitions that can be worked in to it. Overall great pronuncation that can be used. I like this style, don't see it too much. May be hard to work on anything else, I encourage you to stay on this style, very rare.

Kind of like the rapper overseas "Devlin"
charliesforce
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Sep, 2011 06:04 pm
@SHRecords,
Thank you, yes i do have a really unique style i find few rappers who can rhyme after rhyme after rhyme in a sequence, the only American rapper i have heard do it and my biggest inspiration is eminem on his Infinite Album, "Chain Reaction, Get you Brain Relaxing, Coz They be Acting Maniac In Action" but im extra unique because i also incorporate speed rap in my verses to really kill an instrumental, but its got to be at the right point. However a negative aspect of this style is it can take a very long time to write a decent song unless you have mastered it fully
samyboy27
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Sep, 2011 03:04 pm
@charliesforce,
nice man,although you been on this site longer i been here sice the begining of september,glad i have some 1 to look up 2,and by the way,sick verses
BombScare
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Sep, 2011 07:20 pm
@samyboy27,
you look up to me dog. you know it. im the beeest on this site so, i need a deal dog. not you, quit butt kissin
 

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