Sozlet stories

Hmm, we didn't really put down roots in Providence or Mineola, so neither of us were that perturbed when we moved from either place. Before that, the only moving I did was to and from schools, from my home which I was kinda itching to leave (no offense to my folks, but I was 17 and dying to go off to college, as were all of my buddies, so that covered over any trepidation). And RP's only move before we got here (other than Mineola to Providence or Providence to here) was from NYC to Mineola, to move in with me. So the dynamics were different. For us, moving always meant we were doing something that would make things that much better.

Actually, the only time I think I really felt that "I'll never see __ again" was when my buddy S___ left for India (we had worked together and knew each other for maybe 3 years). I just knew I'd never, ever see him again.

Unfortunately, we don't keep up with that many people from our pasts. There's our best man and our maid of honor, and, hmm, another gal from my High School and at Xmas we hear from a coupla my sorority sisters. And that's it. I guess we kind of fold in upon ourselves. I haven't had a close friend, a really close friend, since M___ from Law School, and we don't even write to one another at Xmas. I have no idea where she lives now. Oy. Now I'm a lil sad.

Sounds like sozlet will sort it out once she sees how things start to take shape in the new place, how the stuff in boxes comes back out and you begin to feel comfortable and suddenly it's home.

Quickie -- sozlet and I went for a walk in a woods near our house (a woods near our house -- liking this place) and found a big feather that is maybe from a raptor of some kind or a wild turkey? I dunno. It's more than a foot long, very light.

So anyway, as we were walking home, she said that maybe the feather came from "a bird that was melting." I said, "You mean 'molting'?" and she got cross and said "No, MELTING" very emphatically. "When they start to loose their feathers and new ones grow in -- MELTING!" I know when to leave well enough alone, so I said "huh, I thought that word was 'molting'" and left it at that.

I guess you've been told!

Haven't updated this in forever.

She saw a cat today while on evening walk with E.G., and was thrilled, and told me about it with great relish; "I saw a cat and I said 'here kitty kitty here kitty kitty' and it walked up to me and walked around and around my legs and it felt like a soft furry blanket that was made out of fur!"

Her latest language thing is "in fact" -- "In fact, I think it WAS a gray cat!"

She is still recovering from move, overall graph is upwards but not a straight line -- better, worse, better, worse worse, better better better. The overriding effect is that things just aren't as easy as usual -- she's moodier, her fuse is shorter, and I have been putting a lot of effort into trying to strike a balance between allowing for the fact that she needs to adjust and not letting new, unacceptable behaviors take root.

Preschool starts in less than a month, that'll be big. She's really looking forward to it.

That'll be good, she'll make new friends and you'll get to meet people as well.

Tell us about the new place?

Drama queen! Absolute drama queen!

She has nattered on about weddings forever, and so when I saw a complete bride outfit at the local resale shop in her size (dress, veil, corsage) I got it for her. She put it on and was just soooo happy. I said "you're the most beautiful bride ever" and she smiled beatifically and said, "I know."

So the bride stuff went on for a while, then she got too hungry and asked to do something (I forget what) and I was busy making dinner and said no and she slumped to the floor with just the most pitiful expression, still decked out in the bride costume (the veil is part of this 80's-ish white feather marabou headband with silver threads in it, with little white bows and dangling ribbons at each temple, so imagine all that marabou and ribbon surrounding an absolutely pitiful little face) and said, "I'm just the saddest little girl in the whole wide world..."

Argh. "I'm hungry" won't do?

(She perked up after dinner, doing drawings on the other computer now -- a benefit of two computers, at least 'til the old one finishes kicking the bucket.)

The new place is very nice, Vivien. Settling in more and more, preschool will be a big step forward. Already has two friends (next-door neighbor girl, 2 yrs older, and the daughter of another new professor who is her age but lives a bit of a distance away.)

Thats cute ...

Just now... we'd arranged to talk to her friend Jack on the phone (what an expression when she heard his voice -- how to describe -- just suffused with emotion) (first time she's talked to him since she last saw him) and then I asked her later what had happened, who she'd talked to. After a bit of that, she said that she'd also talked to the family iguana, but not on the phone, because she had a microTHONE to talk to him and he could hear her without a phone and she could hear him. Then she asked me if I knew why it was called a microTHONE and not a microPHONE (she pronounces both fine). I pleaded ignorance. She said it was because of the spots that iguanas have on their back.

Oh.

Love it! What a great imagination.

I am so glad you are recording all this on the a2k microthone, soz. Very dear, very instructive in a nonobnoxious way, for all of us, including the sozlet for herself, some time later.

I keep thinking of things while away from the computer, and then remembering things that are not so noteworthy, but if I don't get them down I don't get anything down. So I put down the non-noteworthy stuff too.

Thanks for your responses, it's part of what gets me to actually write stuff down.

The "do you know why...?" is a big rhetorical device of hers these days. Hmm, I prolly do that a lot. Yeah, I do. She puts her own spin on things, though.

What she's done forever is suddenly dash headlong into a new skill, leaving us blinking and sputtering and saying "you did THAT?!" I set up a new art area for her and she's been going ballistic. I HAVE to show you the cat she drew, will scan it when I can. Plus cutting things out and gluing them -- made an amazing boat. People-wise, she's gone straight from drawing blobs with arms and legs sticking out to torsos, fingers, hair, ears, glasses, expressions... it's fun to watch.

I don't have anything to add, but I love this thread (encouragement). It provides a window to look through for those of us without Sozlets of our own. Pretty fascinating really. :smile:

Yeh, Soz, I agree with o-bill. I never miss it when I get an update, even if I don't respond. You have an audience even if it occasionally seems like the ether.

Tough day. I desperately need a break (E.G.'s been working long hours as usual, a little bit longer, weekends are usually at least a small respite but had a guest last weekend which meant lots of lipreading and general non-relaxingness), E.G. said he'd have to work today for a while, fine, thought he'd be home around lunchish, no, emailed then and said he'd need a few more hours, four hours later I emailed him and he said oh it's been that long already, I still need more time arghhhhhhhh. If I know that he won't be home all day I can plan accordingly, but it's the death of a thousand cuts stuff that gets to me.

Anyway.

Sozlet has just discovered the joys of tormenting someone by repeating things. So after a few of those, I said, "I promise to leave my Mama alone for 30 minutes." She repeated it with a gotcha gleam. I said oh, thanks! and picked up the New Yorker. She looked confused. I reminded her, "You just promised to leave me alone for 30 minutes." She said, "no, YOU said that!" I said, "Fine, I WILL leave my Mama alone for 30 minutes." Then I cracked up at her thoroughly confused expression and she did too.

Second thing; just now she had to use the potty, and she said with full drama, "I'm never going to use the potty again." I was like, huh? She repeated, I thought I'd misunderstood and asked, but if you drink anything...? and she said, "I'm not going to drink anything ever again." This was just pure little match girl pitifulness and again it made me crack up, and she started giggling too, then struggled to put the ultra-serious pitiful face back on, and managed it. So we went back and forth about that for a little while (serious/ gigglefit) and then she went on to something else, I forget what.

Soz, I haven't checked into this thread for a long time and just now remembered how remarkable it is for making the day brighter.

Glad your move went well and the sozlet is adjusting. Don't forget to scan her artwork.

Thank you for allowing those of us with grown children remember those times with a kind of bittersweet fondness.

Damn, when are my sons going to start a family? Do I have to ask every girl they date if she is fertile???

See, that helps me in turn -- my patience is at low ebb and that gives me some perspective on OK, right now I want nothing more than to sit and read the New Yorker undisturbed for 30 freakin' minutes, but there will be a time in the not so distant future where I'll be missing her and so I better appreciate it now.

I've been going through old Abuzz threads, copying and pasting, and there is SO MUCH that I have already forgotten...

Soz, there will be a time very soon when she'll like playing on her own if only for a little chunk of time. I think it's around 3.5 years if I remember right. Both girls I took/take care of got there. I could get big chunks of crossword done at a time.

Then came the second babies - what a rip-off! <grin>.

Today, as we set off on a way too long sail on a way too hot day, we saw some trash in the water. I remarked about it to her and sad it was sad to see. She agreed. I asked her why she thought it was sad. She said, "because if a little kid gets too close to the water and her clothes fall in she'll be sad because she really reeeaaally loves her clothes."

One point missed completely.

Hee hee!!

Actually, she's playing by herself really really well and I should quit with the complaining already. We have this family room in the new house, and I just got the computer to make it fully operational. So in one room is my office area (marked by a rug; with my desk, my computer, my bookcase, some plants 'n' stuff), her play area (two big bookcases with wood blocks, legos, Fisher-Price farm, musical instruments, etc.) and her art area (kid-sized table and chairs with crayons, markers, glue, scissors, construction paper, playdo, etc., etc.) So it's actually been really great to sit here and type while she draws, then admiring her drawings and talking about them, and then she makes something out of construction paper, etc.

Reading for some reason she has a thing about, if I'm reading she wants me to read it to her, if it's something adult she gets grumpy and wants me to read her a more interesting book. Hmph.

Anyway, right now I'm not using this new luxury for good -- I'm spending too much time on A2K/ email -- but it's a segue to doing home-based/ computer-based work. That'll be cool.

I'm REALLY looking forward to when she can read books to herself... then we can read together, each our own books. She's reading pretty well in the sense of knowing letters through and through, knowing what sounds they make, sounding out simple words ("zoo", "bee"), and recognizing a lot of words. She does sometimes sit down with a book and look at it carefully, turn one page at a time, but she doesn't actually read whole stories to herself yet. That'll be great.

A calmly sitting and reading for pleasure, when does that happen? 23 years old?