Sozlet stories

I've been reading your accounts of foster momhood with interest and respect, DB, a big job you've got there and bless you for doing it.

The inscrutable 4-year-old brain:

I'm making dinner and sad girl comes up to me and asks, "Who threw this away??" It is a note (some letters that don't form a word that I recognize) from her best friend, who was here today for a playdate. We had all cleaned up together -- sozlet, bf, bf's mom, bf's little brother, me -- and I said "I don't know, maybe [bf's mom] did. But now you have it, so no problem." (It wasn't particularly scrunched or anything.) She hugged it tenderly and looked up at me with huge moist eyes.

So then after dinner, as I'm cleaning up, I take the note from where it had been put on the counter and said, "Why don't you put this someplace special." She says, "Like where?" I said I dunno, wherever you want, up to you. After some deliberation she decides, "The garbage can." I sputter about but but but what about when she was so sad...?? She shrugged. (Just asked her what happened at that point 'cause I'd forgotten how it went exactly, she confirmed that she wanted to throw it away, I asked why, and she said, "Well, it wasn't very good writing.")

Earlier, we were talking about how bad dreams wake her up. She says that in the morning, "If I'm dreaming a bad dream and wake up, I go back to sleep to see if it gets gooder or badder. If it gets badder and badder and badder then I wake up immediately. If it gets gooder and gooder and gooder than I just -- go back to sleep."

Yesterday, upon my return from a big interview: "So, did you win?"

"It wasn't very good writing..." Could she have picked that up from someone close to her?

So, soz, did you win? (Love that!)

I didn't say nothin'! (I thought of that too, Osso.) I didn't say anything between Ms. Tragic and Ms. Throwitaway besides consoling her for the fact that it had been thrown away. Aside from what I wrote here, but I don't think she can read that quite yet...

Don't know if I won yet! ;-) Will find out by the end of this week, supposedly. I'm a little rollercoastery about whether I want it or not. Good money. But lots of work. But not SO much work. And good money! But it's not like I'm not already stretched thin... etc.

Soz, I meant in general... after all, you have been editing quite a bit lately, no?

Crossing fingers re the winning, if it will turn out to be good and not winning, if vice versa.

I only thought it.

Osso said it.

Ah, editing! Perhaps... I was definitely loudly complaining about one run of really bad writing I had to hack into shape.

Thanks for the crossed fingers. I think I've decided that I want the offer, and then will ask a lot (more) questions and make sure it's really what I want before accepting. I'm a bit worried about responsibility creep -- it's a kind of strange amalgam-ish position, and I'm concerned that the minor parts will get more and more major and require more time than I'm willing to give. (Originally I thought it would be about 5 hours a week there, 5-7 at home, now it looks more like about 10 hours (and maybe more) there, and an equal number (until I get more efficient anyway) at home. Hmm.

So, a bit of a miscalculation. We've been gradually getting her room together since we moved a year ago, and have finally gotten to a pretty good point. One thing to deal with has been that the former homeowners painted three "Winnie the Pooh" murals in the room -- they aren''t terrible, but they're somewhat amateurish and one in particular (the very first one you see when you walk in the room) features a really bad color of babypoop brown.

Eventually we'll paint, but in the meantime I've been dealing with it in more limited/ simple ways. A while ago I made a poster to cover the babypoop one. Then a couple of weeks ago we moved two bookcases to cover another. Then yesterday I got a really pretty piece of premium wrapping paper (one large image, not a repeating pattern, it's really a poster but cheap) and covered up the last one. Looks great, the whole room suddenly looks a lot more cohesive.

I did this last part while sozlet was at school, then ushered her in when she came home to see what she thought. She LOVED it. She said something about how the Pooh stuff was babyish, and then that it was time to get ALLLL of the baby stuff out of her room.

She cast her eye on her bookcase and said, "Let's get rid of all those baby books." (The top shelf is full of small board books she loved when she was very little.) I said, you mean, put them in a box and store them or something? She was adamant, no, get RID of 'em! All of them? ALL of them.

So, the miscalculation -- I scanned the shelf, took out "Goodnight Moon," and said "you really want to get rid of this forever?"

Time clock stops. The ~6-7 year old she was looking and acting like freezes. Lower lip quivers, cheeks plump, eyes water, and she's 2. She half-stumbles towards me with her arms out and falls into my arms with a stricken sob. Snuggles close for a long time, quietly crying. I apologize, reassure her, promise her we can keep whichever books she wants for as long as she wants and just get rid of the ones she doesn't want -- that brings on a new wave of sad, so quickly repeat the part about just keeping whichever books she wants, all of them, that's fine, it's nice to be able to go back to old favorites, would she like to read some of them?

She does, so we spend the next half hour or so reading the greatest hits from birth to 2 or so, with her snuggled in and subdued. Perked up by the end of it though.

aaawww, growing up is so hard to do.

Dittos on awwwww....

Trittoes on awwwwwww !

Aw. <empathises>

My boys were much more willing to abandon toys than books.

Yeah. We've done a few toy purges, I think that's kind of what she had in mind.

It was amazing what a temporal leap she made, though, that seems to be happening a lot. She's so grown up! And then aw, she's still so little.

Lately I seem to be getting sozlet stories from OTHER people, a nice development. Can only remember two right off. One of E.G.'s graduate students recently asked if sozlet would be at a party because she (grad student) really wanted to meet her (sozlet) based on a story she'd heard from the dept. secretary. The secretary had told sozlet that she was just beautiful and got the response, "Well, yes, but I'm smart too."

Today, at ballet class, three of us moms were hanging out -- me, sozlet's best friend's mom (BFM), and another mom (AM, I guess). BFM was explaining to AM that there has been some tension because BF is all about sozlet all the time and sozlet is interested in playing with other kids, too. AM said she'd noticed that, but that sozlet seems to be handling it pretty well, and related that at one point after class when BFM and I were busy talking, BF was having a whiny fit and sozlet said firmly, "[BF], pull yourself together!" (AM's comment -- "sozlet can come over to our house ANY time...")

Obviously the young lady knows how to make a point. And a well taken one at that!

Do I detect a hint of Mommy in that?

More her Papa than me, if anyone. (He's more likely to say things like "Don't have a cow...!") She's a lil' sponge, though.

Is that graduate student thinking of robbing the cradle or is
Sozlet into Older Men?