Sozlet stories

Ah, articulate son of Noddy.

Ha!

Oh, I know, osso, of the many worries that go around in a continuous loop on my internal crawl, that's a big one. I don't want her to be paranoid but I want her to be safe but how can I tell her what she needs to know without making her paranoid...

Gack.

That recent story of the kid who was lost in the mountains and wouldn't go to rescuers because they might be scary bad people -- strangers after all -- is one of the many reasons I want to stay away from "stranger danger" paranoia.

For now, it's just that she always has a trusted adult in the vicinity (as in me, E.G., or someone we've specifically deputized) and knows to get that person if anything makes her feel uncomfortable. She's been good about that so far, but it also hasn't been tested, really. <grimace>

Noddy, your son sounds down to earth and open about his life. Is he still that way? It is a wonderful quality.

Soz, 'stranger danger' is a tough one. I always tried to remind myself that all the awful things I read about or heard had to be a tiny percentage of what happened in the real world. Also, when explaining danger to children, how do you tell them that a relative is more likely to molest them than a stranger? You are such a wonderufl mother that I'm sure she will develop the 'tuning' that Osso mentioned.

Kids have a pretty good instinct for who is trustworth.

We (and by we, I mean my wife) have been studying how to protect the kids from predators. The advice seems to be avoid "don't talk to strangers." Teach your children to seek help from women, who are much less likely to be predators.

DrewDad, good advice.

<I'm on personal needlepins... my niece's mother, former wife of my ex-husband's brother (if you read that with an eagle eye you'll see no relation to me, and I deny that)... my niece's mother died two days ago, at 43.

T graduated from high school two days before her mom's death. She was busy resenting mom not being there again.


Lot of talking on my hands.>

Ah, excuse me for the factfilled post. More filling facts are happening as we speak - as the family in Liberia may want her corpse.

Don't get me started...

Never mind all that. I admire her then and now, some.
And who am I to judge?


And Soz - sorry, only meant this as a side winder, and not to interfere with the main thread.

Sorry folks, the info in that post is not the usual info.
It is particular to my family situation. I'll post a thread if that seems appropriate. In the meantime, never mind.

Noddy that's great - level headed, articulate and not bothered!


As a child, aged about 5, living in a tiny place, a car pulled up and asked for directions (when I was out playing and a few hundred yards from home) and then asked me to get in and go with him to show him I didn't want to anyway and just said no - I wasn't allowed - I'd had the 'strangers' talk but no reasons ever given for the danger. I didn't even tell my parents as it was a minor incident to me - looking back though .....

You do need to warn children that some strangers aren't trustworthy and could hurt them - it's the going off with them or being asked to keep secrets that is the danger zone.

Also. statistically most abusers are well known to the child and family

Soz is so open - that's crucial, it's the no secrets bit that is important as abusers rely on a child not telling.

As I remember it, my mom did that by casually weaving the guidelines into conversations about other things. (If people you don't know offer you money, sweets, or anything, don't accept it. If a stranger invites you into his car, don't step into it. Generally, if a stranger acts as if he really, really wants your company, you don't want his.) She repeated the guidelines fairly often, but without any urgency and any explanation. The "no explanation" part was unusual for my mom -- she doesn't like rules, so usually explains ad nauseam any rule she does find necessary. So I guess from the lack of explanations in this case that she faced the same problem you did, and consciously chose to establish the rule by casual repetition instead of explanation. It worked pretty well for my sisters and me, with some very minor errors on the paranoid side. We didn't step into anybody's car, but none of us got paranoid about strangers.

Last year I happened to be in Wisconsin when my sister's youngest boy wandered away at Walmart. I can't describe the look of satisfaction on my sister's face when she explained that he did precisely what he'd been taught to do when he got scared; looked for a mom and said " Can you help me?" She says "don't talk to strangers" is bunk, and instead teaches the order in which strangers should be approached if you need help. If you can't find a Mom; look for a... She might not be the very best parent on planet earth... but, then again... she may well be.

Ossobuco--

Family-by-Choice may be even more valid than Family-by-Blood.

Forty three is very young to die--but forty-three is so much older than an angry teenager.

I can remember getting left behind my parents and cut off in a crowded shop when I was very young (memories of people towering above) - I could just see my parents some way ahead but couldn't get to them for all the people and was getting panicky

- did I say 'can you help me please?' no - I very uncharacteristically kicked the nearest legs! when they moved I ran to catch up with a very annoyed woman shouting 'you did that deliberately' ringing in my ears! my parents had no idea what I'd done!

Hi Y'all!!!

First....pictures of the 4 year old's preschool graduation..she'll be starting pre-k at regular big kids school in august.

an Onyxlets First Graduation

Second...a small story

My 6 year old just informed me that I should try this: The next time I go into the ladies' room to and wash/dry my hands with the blower, I should put my head under the air stream (no, she did not say air stream) because it feels so good.

Apparently, this is an activity she has been engaging in for months, taught to her by her 9 year old neice and never when I'm the one taking her to the ladies' room.

I'll bet Lexi really enjoyed all the pomp and circumstance--she has a wonderful smug smile in the photo in which you are holding her in your lap.

ahhhhhh that isn't me. that's her teacher. and lexi is very very smug.

She had a great time, didn't she?

The Lexi profile pic is totally a book cover!

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing, Onyxelle.

you are absolutely Right Set. she did indeed.

Well-loved children have such glorious smirks for special occasions--and nearly every day is special.