Kvetching is a major league sport. Of course, you are a franchise player Roberta for a2k.
a2k should be paying you $15 million a year for your talents! Or you could be selling season tickets to your kvetching playoffs every season.
We need to start a Fantasy Kvetching League. First round draft pick is, of course, Roberta. Then the rest of us complain.
So, my kvetch. I go swimming, 'cause it's hot as blazes here. I go to the Y, which has a lovely clean pool, as opposed to the MDC, where a woman died. So far, so good.
Last week, I was there and there were a buncha day camp classes there and so only 1 lane was open to us grown-up types. And we are trying not to bump into each other but there is a Spanish dude with 2 noodles and so he is wide and slow and just kinda meandering around. The rest of us want to do laps; he wants to marinate.
So I do my lap as well as possible and end up kind of going diagonally around marinating Spanish dude. I keep going this way as I see no one in front of me. I get to the end (note: I'm not wearing glasses, of course) and I see tiny Russian lady. She is -- I swear this is true -- wearing bright fuchsia
In the pool.
And she says to me, "You mahst svin in serkul!"
"You mahst svin in serkul!"
Translated: You must swim in a circle, meaning, go on the right, turn around and stay to the right.
I realize I have met The Lane Fuhrer.
So I start swimming in the circle like everyone else. Last I saw of be-lipsticked Russkie Lane Fuhrer, she was saying, "You mahst svin in serkul!" to the marinating Spanish dude.
And so concludes another day here in Brighton, the Gateway to the Galaxy.
Update on The Lane Fuhrer.
So I have gone to the pool several more times, as it's been hot (although this week has, for the most part, been decent) and my Y membership is gonna expire on the 15th of August. And I sometimes see the LF, sometimes, not. Always, she is wearing bright fuchsia lipstick. This makes it possible for me to spot her at all, as I, of course, am not wearing my glasses. I just look - bright fuchsia, ah, and all is right with the world.
Today I saw the LF speaking to Ancient Japanese Dude. Ancient Japanese Dude speaks little English but nods politely if I see him. If I make a circular motion with my fingers, we swim in a circle (excuse me, svim in serkul
). If I make back and forth motions with my fingers (e. g. it's like "let your fingers do the walking" - that sort of a motion), then we each take one side of the lane and just go back and forth. He's a pleasant enough guy. I think he understands if I say the usual pool small talk, which generally consists of, "Hi, it's so much nicer in here than it is out in the heat.".
So LF is speaking with AJD, and I notice, because of the body language, something interesting. It takes me a while to figure this out but then I also notice Dude Who Thinks He's Working Out But Is Really Just Splashing A Lot (DWTHWOBIRJSAL aka Sir Splash-a-lot) also waves at LF. Sir Splash-a-lot is an ex-Marine type, seems to be around 65 or so. LF is maybe 75. AJD is probably also in his 70s.
And I realize -- AJD is hitting on LF. And, perhaps, Sir Splash-a-lot is as well.
I realize -- the Lane Fuhrer must be one hot ticket.
It must be the bright fuchsia lipstick.