I'm sleeping on a 36 year old mattress. I think this may be one of the reasons why I'm having trouble sleeping. Can't get comfortable. I sigh.
So I'm sitting and playing a game on my computer, and it occurs to me that maybe I should turn the mattress over. Sounds like a good idea. I can't remember when I did it last. I turn it around, but not over.
I get clean linens ready. A nice new bed.
I make a game plan. Get the mattress on the floor and then tip it over the other way coming back. I make room on the floor. I slide the mattress onto the floor.
I can't get the steenkin' thing back onto the bed. It's heavy. I mean HEAVY. I survey the situation. I try again. I fall down--onto the mattress. I do some more surveying. I have a plan.
I rest and catch my breath. I move the bed so that it's up against the wall. I move a cabinet so that it prevents the other end of the bed from moving. I will do this by corners.
I lift the edge of the mattress up. It springs back and knocks me down--this time on the floor. Not hurt. I catch my breath and contemplate calling the doorman and asking him to send up a porter.
Gonna give it one more try. I make progress. I stop to rest. (Breathing like I'm climbing a mountain.) I get more of the mattress on the bed than on the floor. But one corner is stuck under the bed. I lift the mattress and the bed.
Done. The mattress is on the bed. There are wires sticking out of it. I manage to cut one off that's sticking out of the middle. I tried cutting the ones off on the edges. Couldn't do it. I said a few dirty words and tucked them under.
Put on the clean linens.
What am I kvetching about? STEROIDS. I'm taking them for asthma. If I wasn't on steroids, I wouldn't have dreamed of such an undertaking. Hell, I might not have changed the linens.
Dem steroids give you unnatural energy. In my case, not the strength to go with it.
I gotta wind down. Them I'm gonna take a nap on this side of the mattress.