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School problems....13 yrs old

 
 
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 01:57 pm
Ok so I'm Gracie and I'm 13 and this august I'll be starting 10th grade and I'll be taking advanced classes. I'm kinda not looking forward to it. I mean, the work isn't easy but it's not hard either so that's not the problem it's just that I don't like being the smallest and youngest kid in my classes. Is there a way for me to go back a grade so I can be in classes with kids closer to my age and still get some advance work? My dad doesn't want me to go back a few grades. He doesn't think it's a good enough reason and he says I should take classes that are more challenging so is there a way that I can go back a grade without his permission? I mean, I'm the one taking the classes not him, right?
 
View best answer, chosen by GracieGirl
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 02:01 pm
@GracieGirl,
Quote:
that I can go back a grade without his permission

Legally? Probably not without some kind of court declaring you an emancipated minor.

Quote:
An emancipated minor is a child who has been granted the status of adulthood by a court order or other formal arrangement.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-an-emancipated-minor.htm

Not so sure that the courts will rule in your favor for just these causes.
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 02:12 pm
@GracieGirl,
Hi GracieGirl,

I have seen that a couple of times where kids jump a few grades and are intelligently mature enough to handle the upper grades, but emotionally it's
always hard to get acceptance from peers who are generally older. It gets
especially hard when 16 year olds' enter college and have no friends there.

Since you are in high school now and taking AP classes, perhaps you can
make some friends in 9th grade through tutoring, lunch breaks or any
other elective classes like music or theater.

I agree with your dad that going back a few grades won't help you much
as you'll get bored and it won't necessarily help you academically.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 02:20 pm
@CalamityJane,
I agree with Calamity Jane here, both on the going back a few grades not being an answer, and making friends in other ways being very important - I like her idea about electives, and can see tutoring being useful too.

0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  3  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 02:27 pm
@GracieGirl,
There is likely little you can do other than to express your concerns to your parents. You face a real challenge in a world where your intellectual maturity and your emotional maturity are out of phase, but take heart - it does all sync up after a while.

I think one problem you have right now is that you and your classmates are on opposites of an important divide. The good news is that you are about to cross over. At 13, boys go from children to impossibly awkward, towering proto-men and girls become tall, willowy young women. It never fails to amaze me when it happens. Next year, you will still be a couple of years younger than your classmates, but you will fit in much better. For now, pursue some activities outside school where you can mix with people your own age. Join a swim team, meet up with other 13 year olds in your neighborhood, try the church youth group - any activity where you are grouped by age instead of grade. Everything doesn't have to revolve around school.
0 Replies
 
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 02:35 pm
@GracieGirl,
What about your twin? Are you not both in the same grade level?
cletrusrichard
 
  2  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 03:04 pm
@GracieGirl,
I think that once you start your classes, you will be able to connect on an intellectual level. I know it's different than having an emotional connection, but maybe you will find some common interests with your new peers despite the age difference.
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 03:52 pm
@wayne,
Actually, my sisters a little more advanced than I am in Math and Science and a little less advance in the other subjects but we'll both be starting the same grade. We'll just have different advanced classes. Besides, its against school policy to have identical twins in the same classroom; I dont know why though...
Mame
  Selected Answer
 
  3  
Reply Sat 9 Jul, 2011 11:55 pm
@GracieGirl,
I started kindergarten when I was four yrs old because back then the rule was you had to turn five by the end of the school yr. Now it's different, or course. Anyway, I finished kindergarten, turning five in May. I started grade one and was skipped to grade 2 after three weeks because I could read all the grade one readers. So I was five in grade 2. And I was a very small little five yr old and found that not too many of the grade two-ers wanted to play with me because I was younger and little. Nobody wants to play with 'little' kids when they're young. By the time I got to grade ten, I had figured a lot of it out - nobody really asked how old I was anymore, but I wasn't really into the same things as they were and I was still short. Anyway, it's a pain in the rear - I hear you.

As to your dad - I think just talking to him about the problem might help him become more aware of what you're going through. It's important to communicate these types of things to your parents (in a non-whiny and non-accusatory way) so they can sympathize, try to help, etc.

I don't think going back would help - as someone else said, you'd be bored out of your mind, for one thing, and for another, there's no guarantee you'd be accepted since you're so advanced in so many areas. I think you're unique (except for your twin) in your school and you'll stand out no matter what.

Speaking of your twin, how does she feel? Have you two talked about this?
wayne
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 07:57 am
@GracieGirl,
How does your twin feel about this idea of holding back a year? Certainly she is dealing with the same issues you have described.
You are each others best support network, I assume.
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 09:39 am
@GracieGirl,
Parents get a tremendous amount of positive feedback when their child excels at anything but especially for academics or sports. This can make it really hard for them to take a step back and look at how it's effecting your happiness.

Most parents do want their children to be happy though, even if it causes some disappointment. Maybe you can enlist a teacher to help you talk to your dad?
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 09:56 am
I don't think there is much you can do besides create out-of-class opportunities to socialize with kids closer to your own age. I do think it's important, however, that you take a year or two between high school and college. Your father wants you to be challenged in your studies, and there's nothing wrong with that, but I think it would be a disservice to you and your sister to enter college as 16 year olds. You can be challenged in many ways in life. You can volunteer through AmericaCorps -Vista, or any number of other programs that will both challenge you and allow you to grow socially before entering college.

http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/vista.asp
Roberta
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 11:36 am
@JPB,
I was sixteen when I entered college. Although it wasn't possible to look at me and see a difference in age, I felt the difference. I celebrated my sweet sixteen, and I was in classes with people who were married.

It eventually became a nonissue. I just needed to get to know people.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 11:37 am
@Mame,
Yes, it's a pain! Sounds like you totally get it! :-) My sister and I already knew how to read, write, and do basic math (not multiplication or division, we weren't that smart lol.) by the time we were three and a half , so when we were five we took some kind of test and we were able to skip kindergarten. When we started 3rd grade our teachers recommended testing for advanced/gifted classes and after we took the tests, instead of taking advanced classes we ended up skipping 3rd grade. So that makes us 2 years ahead of the other kids.

And yes, me and my sister have talked about it and we sort of feel the same way. I don't think Lissa minds being the youngest kid in class as much as I do. Maybe she's use to it. She's more talkative or outgoing than I am, so I guess its a little easier for her to fit in.
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 11:43 am
@Roberta,
Did you like being a couple years younger? Was it hard for you? Did it suck?
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 12:15 pm
@wayne,
Lissa doesn't want to go back a year. She doesn't like being the youngest kids in our high school but she says that she would rather just finish our last two years of school and get it over with.

I hated last school year. I was the only twelve year old in classes full of fourteen and fifteen year olds. I mean, I have friends and some kids think its cool that me and Lissa have skipped a few grades, but its different. It's like I'm the baby in the group and the older kids act like I'm some naive little kid who doesn't know anything. I guess it just doesn't bother her as much as it bothers me. I just think high school would be soo much easier if we were in classes with kids our own age.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 12:31 pm
@GracieGirl,
You know, you sound like a neat kid - I think if you stop thinking about all this and just be yourself, you'll be a lot happier. The more you have angst about it, the more angst you'll have. Go with your strengths and people will see you for who you are. It's natural at your particular age to feel the way you do under your circumstances, but even if you hadn't skipped, but were around slightly older kids, the same stuff would happen since interests of 15 yr olds are often quite different than 13 yr olds (boys, dancing, etc). Just wait it out, hon.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 12:34 pm
@tsarstepan,
Jeez! I dont wanna go to court! My dad would kill me! No other way?
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 12:41 pm
@Mame,
Thanks!! I guess your right :-)
0 Replies
 
wayne
 
  4  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 01:17 pm
@GracieGirl,
I remember how important that year or two of age difference can be to social standings.
I was one of those kids that started kindergarten early, looong time ago Smile

It sounds like you and your sis have discussed this, that's good. Personally, I think your sister's idea for handling this is a good one.
There will be benefits to that later down the line, you can always burn up the extra time, it's pretty hard to get an extra year back though.
Besides, this year you won't be a 12 year old, you'll be a TEENAGER and it won't be such a difference between you and a 14 or 15 year old.

By the way, you write quite well, you should be proud of your skill.
 

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