@Krumple,
In light of what you’ve said. You are hoping for significant success in a maximum of one lifetime. According to my understanding it can take very much longer.
To accomplish the kind of realization that would be noticed by others in one lifetime would probably be only accomplished by one person in a generation if that. But when one is reborn although one has no memories of previous Buddhist practice one has a tendency to view the world in the way one viewed it in the previous life in this sense it is an innate quality that follows one to one’s new rebirth. In this way the Bodhisattva progresses in the quest to remove the root cause of suffering by realizing the true nature of reality (this could be called the realization of Ultimate Truth).
If belief in rebirth is dismissed then everything you have said I’d say is pretty much correct and there are many ways to make this single life worthwhile and meaningful. The problem is if the mind cannot be destroyed by death then only the understanding one gained in the previous life will be able to act as a springboard for the new life.
This is how I understand the aim of Buddhism. Your reasons for needing a teacher I say were correct. Here is someone else apparently saying the same thing about how long it can take to achieve Buddhahood in the Mahayana (the Bodhisattva’s path). There are quicker paths but they are more dangerous and very few put in the commitment required.
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http://www.lightwatcher.com/ebooks/kcrbcaintro.pdf
“The king’s way of generating bodhicitta is the least courageous of the three, the boatman’s way is more courageous, and the shepherd’s way is the most courageous of all. Practitioners of ordinary capacity, those who follow the way of the king, will reach perfect enlightenment within ‘thirty-three countless aeons’; those of mediocre capacity, who follow the way of the boatman, will reach perfect enlightenment within ‘seven countless aeons’; while those of highest capacity, who follow the way of the shepherd, will reach perfect enlightenment within ‘three countless aeons’.”
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There are qualified teachers but they all expect that if the student is to gain success it will depend on how much of each life that student will sacrifice to the practice to gain subtle progress from life to life. Given this it is not surprising that you can’t find any signs or few signs of realization in those who are, or call themselves Buddhists.
