If You Knew Then, What You Know Now

That's a nice point, innie.

Hmmm, I keep starting to write things and then thinking of the alternative. Like, I recently have been really wishing I could read music -- I knew how when I was very young, then stopped playing the violin and forgot. I'd like to know how so I could "hear" music just by looking at it, as well as write some things down. But I realize that the alternative is that if I would have kept up with music and playing the violin, it would have been that much harder for me when I did become deaf.

That's the way to look at it, Eva. Altho' I wasted alot of time trying to make things work with other men, if I hadn't spent so many years with this one, so many years with that one, I would not have ended up in another city, on a particular morning, on that particular bus, positioned to meet the sweetest man in shoe leather.

NOT AT ALL. It sounded beautiful. I feel the way you do -- and I am delighted that so many A2Kers feel that way also.

It is a good life!

Yes, Frank. Life is good. It's just our perception of it that gets screwed up from time to time.

No, life is horrible. It's just our perception of it that gets screwed up from time to time, making us think it is good.

And I'm perfect as I am, so I wouldn't change nothing. Maybe not sign up for the Earth Assigment... I didn't realize how stupid you "humans" are. (See above post about life being good for proof.)

I am only 18 but I feel like my entire life is nothign but regrets.

The most important thing would be doing better in high school. I would have taken AP classes, worked my ass off in them, and done some extracurriculars. I'd have played a sport, possibly lacrosse; and I would have played an instrument as well, most likely the violin or piano.(which I'm contemplating learning anyways). I then would have went to a decent school right after college.

Oddly one of the things I regret most is something that isn't nearly as important as the school thing, but bothers me more. I would have attempted to woo a particular girl I went to school with, whom I still think of sometimes.

I would have had more self-discipline, I would have procrastinated less, and would have acquired more social skills. These things are still affecting me, and will continue to for a few years.

Alpha nerd, wake up! You're only 18!
these things are all still possible! Turn it around...
keep a copy of this post and read it again when you're 35. Everyone carries regrets about choices in their youth, but many of us don't see our mistakes at 18 like you have. Don't regret your life, fix it!

I say "don't regret your life, live it...."

I realize that. But I also know that it will be much more difficult to accomplish everything I would like to because of my past. I also could have enjoyed myself much more and provded myself with better memories than sitting in front of a computer and playing games.

And some of those things such as goign to a nice college I will still accomplish, but it's too late for some of the things I wish I had done.

If I could go back I would do the same things again, only with more conviction and levity.

Didn't know didly back then, don't know didly now, and will probably know didly tomorrow. But, you know what? It's been a hell of a ride.....

If I knew then what I know now, my life would have been extraordinarily different. Still, I am just where I want to be now, so all those past mistakes were (sometimes very painful) steps to the wonderful life I have now.

That's the ticket, Diane. Many people do not learn by their mistakes, and keep making the same ones over and over again - never to see the happiness and wonderful life it can be. I've been one of those fortunate ones; my childhood wasn't all that hot, but my life after 25 turned out pretty good and satisfying. We're the lucky ones.

My beautiful boy fell asleep tonight with his head on my shoulder. I sat there for 15 minutes, just stroking his hair and thinking about everything I would have missed if I had stuck with my original decision at the age of 20 not to have children.

Who says life isn't grand?

Good night, all.

I agree with Dys: why regret when you can live it? There is a poem about this by some rare Slovenian poet that argues, had you done the things that you regret not doing, or NOT done the things that you DO regret doing, you would still have regrets even then; if it were supposed to happen, it would have happened. Yet, to regret is a very human thing. So, although parts of my life were awful, I probably would not change them; the only thing that I would do would be to look at the best novel written in the 21st century, remember it, and have it published when very young, taking all the credit. No-- I probably wouldn't do that either, although it seems tempting.

drom, Good points! We are who we are because of all the bad and good things that has occurred in our life. I don't think it's a matter of "altering" those events, because most of them were beyond our 'control' or influence. If we were able to survive all the negatives of our life and can still look upon our life as "better than average," then we've accomplished something. Many people on this planet do not have any opportunity to better their lives. We should thank our lucky stars that those of us born in developed countries have/had the opportunity to maximize our potential - for whatever that means.

Amen to that.

A very interesting topic. I find it comforting to read the wise comments of many of the posters.

I would have taken the SAT's and i wouldn't have quit my last job. I would have studied more and spoke out more in school.

Thanks, C.I.! I agree word-for-word about what you've just said; life's not about the number of good moments, but how one handles it all.

By the way, what is that wheel thing that you have as your avatar?