7
   

What is this considered?

 
 
sweets
 
Reply Sat 30 Apr, 2011 09:29 pm
My boyfriend and I were drinking and he drank a bit too much. We ended up having sex but there were multiple times through out the sex that I told him no and tried to stop the sex yet he continued. He was also speaking very agressively and acting very mean and agressive and even though I informed him that I wanted him to stop talking and acting like that he continued. I didn't fight him off the most that I could because I didn't want to hurt him. Things got a little bit out of hand, but my question is, is that considered rape or just things getting a bit out of hand? I had already told him about what happened since he didn't remember due to the excessive drinking and he feels horrible about it and I feel horrible about telling him about it.
So main question:
Is that considered rape?
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 2,440 • Replies: 12
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dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 May, 2011 12:22 am
@sweets,
Quote:
Is that considered rape?

Yes.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 May, 2011 08:30 am
@dadpad,
Yes.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 May, 2011 04:19 pm
Some might say it was consensual sex that got rough. You were no longer enjoying it.

If you are still seeing him and/or having sex with him, then don't call it rape.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2011 05:00 am
@PUNKEY,
Legally, it's rape.

However, rape from a moral/ethical/personal perspective is about more than just the law.

I'm rather of the opinion that if you must ask if you have been raped, that you haven't been raped. There would be ways of describing the incident more accurately.

It seems that it made you feel badly about yourself, and I would encourage you to understand your feelings on the matter, and then sit him down and talk the matter through with your boyfriend. Have you told him how it made you feel?

In everything, you need to make sure that you respect your yourself and your feelings - express them respectfully but firmly, listen respectfully , maintain respecting your feelings (which may or may not involve disagreeing with him), and if necessary, never stay in a relationship where you will not be respected...doing so says that you deserve disrespect, and repeatedly putting yourself in such a position will mean that you will eventually come to believe that you are worth the lower level of respect you settled for.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2011 09:09 am
@sweets,
Yes
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2011 09:11 am
@sweets,
This link may be helpful

http://www.criminal-law-lawyer-source.com/terms/date-rape.html
0 Replies
 
Jaqueline
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 May, 2011 12:52 pm
@sweets,
I would be very cautious from now on, but if he feels terrible then I wouldn't necessarily bring it to the law. It is a very difficult situation but do you love him still?
0 Replies
 
Miller
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 May, 2011 10:46 pm
If the guy is alcoholic he needs to get help..
0 Replies
 
melisawilson
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2011 02:15 am
@sweets,
I don't find it a rape as both of you got into it with your own will. Yes! That's true that he did few things against your will, but that doesn't mean he wanted to hurt you. It was only due to the intake of alcohol that made him act weird. So stop thinking bad about that and forgive him with a note that you won't handle this anymore in future.
0 Replies
 
PHen
 
  1  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2011 11:59 am
@sweets,
Why are people defending the guy because he felt bad about it? The moment the girl told him to stop, and he refused, he was forcing her against her will. It was unconsentual sex, i.e. rape. You don't know what this guy is capable of now. If it happened once, who's to say the next time he gets that drunk it won't happen again?
0 Replies
 
bulldogcoma
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Apr, 2012 11:20 pm
@sweets,
YES
0 Replies
 
legalbillingsoftware
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Jun, 2012 12:55 am
yes
0 Replies
 
 

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