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Sun 4 Jan, 2004 02:33 am
Hmm, Here is my attempt at a "love" poem. Every love poem I hear seem cheezy and well, "dumb", I expect you to feel the same about mine, but I did try.
_ = a rest.
Lost from beginning exploring the end
Walling myself in I molded a hope
Excitement is mounting, where have you been?
You cry and pass and all blooms yet again
-standing here _ all that's left
Is the faint smell of whispers,
whispers blowing dead in the wind
I've lost my clay, my great walls of brick
I've lost the hope, I return as sick
Bondage in pairs, I look at my wrists
Tired I am of life gone so frail
Out the window ths son casts the nail
The flowers rejoice as the farmer heaves
at the instance of you_
I see the dead leaves.
NNY, I like the somberness of your poem. I was especially caught up in the opening line. You have a couple of misspelled words, but that is minor in the entire scope of the verse. Don't let this be your only endeavor, NNY.
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All that is left is the faint smell of whispers. So beautiful Maggie
I'm sorry about the typing errors, I wrote fairly fast, and still trying to finalize it while doing so. Thanks for the comments-
the son casting the nail is a semi reference to As I Lay Dying, and some personal symbolism. I don't know why I had to tell you that, but the line seemed so vague to others that read it, so I just had to give a little insight.
Later Days
I need thousands of more replies if I want to get my confidence up to give this to someone, now come on people, start a line, NNY needs attention...
Is Egocentric a word?
That's cute. Me so sleepy, goodnight.
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