ANNOUNCE YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION HERE!

Piffka's Surefire Stop Smoking Routine
Ahhh, MsOlga, if you do use this method, wait until you're feeling particularly ill from the smoking... coughing has set in and you're truly disgusted with yourself. Smoke so much that you feel sick to your stomach! THAT really helps. Then get rid of every single cigarette you own in that fire (sob) and go immediately to bed. Next morning, drink orange juice. Very few people want a cigarette when they're drinking OJ. That'll get you through the first eight or nine hours. After that... just keep breathing. Shower so that all the smell of cigarettes is out of your hair. Wash all your clothes for the same reason. Open all the windows and air out the house. Wash the windows and the curtains. Anything that reminds you of smoking... don't do! Take long walks, try to run (hahah). If possible, go swimming and swim more laps than usual. Then hit the steam-room.

As for my optimism -- the glass is half-full, always.

Piffka, my dear, there has to be a less exhausting method?!

The best exorcisms take place either at midnight or sunset. I favor sunset because I don't like to stay up past my bedtime.

There are four elements: Earth, air, fire, and water. Pick the element which seems most congenial.

Write the object to be exorcised on paper (or, particularly if you choose "air" or "water" as an ally, a leaf).

For earth, bury the paper.

For air, reduce it to confetti and throw to the wind.

Fire is obvious. Beware of smoke detectors indoors--outdoors is best.

Water. Non-poetic types use the toilet. Others prefer either to consign the leaf/paper to running water or sink it in standing water.

Good luck. If one technique doesn't work, try another. You may have found an inexpensive hobby.

Hold your dominion.

Well, the most important parts are to burn ALL the cigarettes and drink the orange juice! That's not too hard!

Noddy.... you are filled with unplumbed depths!

Unplumbed depths?? That's where sewer alligators are!!!


I have a better method: Summon the Great Ciagonisathiru from the depths of the sewers, and plead with him to make all cigarettes taste like old rubber boots, in exchange for your entire supply of perfumes. How? Simple- sit on the pot, relax, and think of the sewers and/or runbber rain coats while chanting "Ciagonisathiru, come to me! Or I will douse your home with pee!!!" Be ready for him anger, and have gum on hand to pacify him. Octograms and throwing starts are also handy.

***********

If that doesn't work, vconsult your local gypsy, voodoo priest, or D&D player.

Good luck.

So many helpful suggestions here! Gosh, which to choose?

Hmmm...

Am still smoking - but have cut down quite a bit..I know I know it is not the same but I am working towards it.

Went to the gym twice in 4 days, so that is not too bad. Am not in such a bad shape as I thought I would be

But this takes the cake - no booze for two days, even though I attended two parties since 2004 began - and while everyone was downing alcohol, I was sipping slimline tonic water with ice - I am soooooooooo proud of myself !!

Gautam--

Good for you. I'm having an austere Monday--despite great emotional provocation.

Not always, Ferret, and may I say, you're certainly cocky for not really knowing us... are you hiding behind your avatar?

Noddy -- I'm sure you can handle that provocation, with or without exorcisms. I hope you weren't offended by my comment. I meant it in only the nicest way.

Gautam -- Good for you! How's the job?

Piffka--

You and I have unplumbed depths where the common clay only breeds alligators. Our sensitive souls are tuned to the harmony of the universe rather than transient imperfections.

We'll survive with our dominions intact--and our white plumes waving.

Lovely image, Noddy. My Dominion is held!

...Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear...
Thomas Gray

<clap, clap, clap>
Oh, you are sooooooo STRONG Gautam! Good for you! I'm impressed!

...and many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste it's sweetness on the desert air......................"

As I said, Gautam, you're a waste...but not a waste land..<giggles>

New Years Resolutions:

1. Become an American Citizen (so they can't deport me).

2. Cut down and eventually (this year) quit smoking. Tried the patch and even a fake ciggie thingie over Christmas but party-mode tripped me up.

3. Lose weight (goal = 20 lbs). Would like to trade-in this bod for another but oh well ...

4. Take up some form of exercise (other than raising a glass!) and do it periodically so that it really IS exercise.

5. Try to squeeze in at least some classes/training that I want to do, because that ole "I don't have time" or "I'm swamped at work" crap has to stop. Gotta take time for ME!

6. Retrain my coworkers and bosses to see that I work to live not live to work. All these long hours have got to stop and I've got to stop feeling guilty about even taking a holiday!

7. Be nicer. I've got to stop being mean to my neighbors and anyone who even slightly pisses me off. I got into the habit of snapping there over the last few months and it would be nice to be nicer to others. Of course if they are particularly mean to me first, I will wallop them across the noggin!

Happy New Year to you all (see ... I can be nice!)

Good luck with it, Heeven! A total transformation coming up!
Is it difficult to become a citizen of the US? Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking?

Uh-oh, Heeven. You weren't at POM's Williams-Sonoma store were ya?

Worst Customer in....

Just kiddin'! Good resolutions, all, but where's the one about having more fun? Is that hidden in #6?

Snigger - I have never been that mean (I don't think) although I do sympathise with plainoldme and God bless her for her strength and perseverence coz I probably would have smacked that ole biddy upside the head and been deported outta here before two shakes of a lambs tail.

This reminds me of someone I came across in a retail setting before. This cranky ole git was shouting abuse at me for something or nothing - can't remember what it was now. My ears were steaming and my face was getting red and I was ready to burst or cry or something. The first thing that came to mind was to fall in a heap on the floor and let the git stand there and blather on to an unconcious body if he so wished. He got such a fright, he thought he had given me a heart attack and ran out of the store. The manager and customers ran over to see if I was alright and I got up, brushed myself off and proceeded to the register, calling the next customer.

I love customers - I'm so good at customer service!

My new year's resolution is to make a new year's resolution next year.

you been workin or vacationing cav? missed your smartass observations during festivus and the low holis.
We went to a couple really good lattke and veggie dinners at friends Hannukah gigs.

I'd say a little of both, there farmerman, plus some unexpected medical quirks that I'm off to get checked out tomorrow. It's been a weird season, to say the least.