my first rap

You might call that rap but don't call it music. I call it filth.And before you say a thing to me about it, if you didn't want an honest answer then you never should posted it.

Here's the thing: the best rap is supposed to be profound. The word choice is clever, the lines are thoughtful, each phrase has meaning that makes you think a little bit about it. Look at other rappers and how they come up with spectacular lines - like Lil' Wayne's "I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave" or Drake's "I took some sense and made a nickel of it."

Your rap doesn't look very thoughtful. You're trying to be all gangster and hoodlum by saying "****" and "nigga" a lot. But your lines are pretty generic - anyone putting in a little concentration could come up with your rhymes. I suggest you do some more research about how professionals put together raps.