pretox - liver flush consisting of carrot juice and olive oil with added garlic and Cayenne pepper
Pertbox. A young lady who likes being chased through the bushes on warm summer evenings at a country fair.
beretpox - (also known as the Frenchman's Revenge) gonorrhoea
Orbexpert-- a shop selling elasticated foundation garments for mature ladies.
pertboxers - undergarments belonging to pursuer of pertboxes (above)
Sobexporters. People whose weepings and wailings get everybody else down.
wep. - to use underhand methods to make a greyhound run faster.
phewn- a close shave with a randy mother-in-law at the wedding reception.
Newhap - the most recent celebrity breakup or hookup
whencap - a calendar of 'safe' days for planned parenthood
Hewncrap - A wood sculpture entered for the Turner Prize
Newtparch - a period of drought during which all the ponds dry up
Strapwench-- a lady with small biceps and imperious mannerisms.
wrenchstrap - said lady's method of ensuring her man displays acceptable manners
wrenchapters - passages of sexual passion inserted into a manly book about the war, in order to gain a female readership
hus - a husband who won't wear a wedding ring
tush - a clump of wire-wool used for scouring rust off things.
lusht - drunken desire which disappears totally when sober
(Morning spendius old chap)
sleuth -- a bloke who crawls around underneath pub tables sniffing at the legs.
