O Death

I might go for "Hey, nice scythe, but my Kung Fu betta than yours!" Then I would pull out my katana.

I'll be your best friend if you'd let me live.

It'd be no fun to be dead. Think how you'd feel if I took your life.

Go away; I have no time for you. Get your paws off of me.

If you knew some of the things I had planned for the next couple of years and the special place in Hell they would guarantee me then you would let me stick around so you could enjoy the fun.......

It wouldn't be me bargaining for it. I'd be off swanning around the miltiverse seeing what there is to see and doing basically what I want.
The dude in the black cloak can try and get my soul off the man downstairs if he likes but I wouldn't recommend it.

I'd be scared to death!!