If i was feeling melodramatic or self-revealing (and apparently i am), i would have to say that my petit objet a
would be a reason to get out of bed that will be as good five years from now as it will be tomorrow morning.
i feel awkward writing about myself, but i've suffered from depression for the larger portion of my post-pubescent life. Eschewing medication, the way one learns to deal with this, and (i imagine) similar conditions, is to break problems (and, when you're in the thick of it, doing anything presents a problem) into bite-size bits. As anyone who is familiar with depression knows, it isn't properly to be identified as some form of moroseness; even while depressed one can
retain the full range of emotions. (Some subjects of depression identify the feeling with numbness, a dulling of emotional response; i have not had that experience. If anything, i identify depression with a multiplication of emotional responses to individual events, a heightened sense of equivocation, the subject always bordering on being overwhelmed.) So as one might imagine, this piecemeal approach to life can be undertaken with enthusiasm and determination some days, and other days be the subject of much trepidation. The pseudo-teleological by-product of this method is that one focuses on finding a reason to get up tomorrow (ie short-term goals), but one's "real" desire, or perhaps the "thing" one really desires, is to find something that is always
worth getting up for or waking up to. The singular event or object that cures depression, it wavers on the horizon like a mirage.
i may be misapplying the idea you are trying to explore, Gosh. i haven't read anything but excerpts from Lacan, and while i have read and admired the last two books from Zizek (The Parallax View
and First As Tragedy, Then As Farce
,) i've only begun to start on his back catalog. i picked up his book, For they know not what they do, Enjoyment as a political factor
, a while back but find it less inviting as a sort-of lay-reader. The petit objet a
is only brought up tangentially in the two books i've finished, so i'm not sure of all its implications. Hopefully, i'm doing the idea justice or this post will be doubly embarrassing.
Incidentally, i'm in the crux of a dilemma. There is a question that i cannot quite decide: Is kennethamy creepier when he is acting as if he doesn't understand what people say to him, or when he is trying to be funny? Can someone help me with this?