Fri 11 Oct, 2002 08:44 pm
The Ones your perents didn't want you to learn.
Little Miss Muphet sat on a tufet eating her curds and way.
It was the spider that sit down beside her but little boy blue with his horn.
Wally Wiltshire 1976
My grandfather was known in the family for all the twists in the tales he told Do you have any crazy relatives like mine with your own twists?
I remember proudly
reciting this one to my parents after learning it in the second grade:
Mary had a little sheep
It went to bed with
her to sleep
The sheep turned out to be a ram
Now Mary has a little lamb
Of course, it was years and years later
when I finally understood why my parents thought this was so hilarious, why they wanted to know where I heard it, and made me
promise not to go around repeating it.
I thought this was a
naughty "mary" poem when I was young:
Mary had a little lamb whose tail was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary
went the lamb was sure to go,
Mary took her little lamb and put it on a shelf,
And every time it wagged its tail it
spanked its little self.
Here'a little naughty poem my kids and their carpool buddies thought was hilarious:
Arty Farty had a party
And all the kids were there
Tuddy Fruity let a beauty
And they all went out for air
\\ \ | | / //
\\\ \\ // ///
\\\ ######### ///
\\ ### ### //
-- ## ## --
-- ## squish!! ## --
-- ## ## --
// ### ### \\
/// ######## \\\
/// // \\ \\\
// / | | \ \\
/ | \
~You have just been hit with a e-snow ball!~
It's the start of.....
Snow Ball Fight 2002 - 2003!
One rule to this game....
You can NOT hit someone who has already hit you!
go out there and get as many people as you can,
before they get you!
I got you first! and you can't get me back!
Nanee - Nanee - Nanee!
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Hmmm - poor old Mary again:
Mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb
The doctor had a fit
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take her pill -
So now they have a daughter.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They each had a dollar and a quarter,
Jill came back with $2.50,
Do you think they went up for water?
Little Miss Muffet sat on her Tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
Who sat down besider her and said
"Whats in the bowl <ryhmes with witch>"
I pronounced this heartily in kindergarden..its how my Uncle tuaght me
Needless to say, no one else was laughing and I think the teacher shall never forget me
I read this one in Mad Maganize eons ago:
Wee Timmy Leary
Soars through the sky
Upward and upward
'Till he's, oh, so high!
Since this rhyme's for kiddies,
How do we explain
that Wee Timmy Leary
Isn't in a plane?
Mary Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells, and cockle shells
and one f***ing egplant!
Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,
eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider, and sat down beside her,
and said: "What the hell is curds and Whey ? ! ? ! ?"
Little Jack Horner, sat in the corner,
eating his sister . . .
There was an old woman, who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, her box fell out . . .
Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard,
to get her poor doggy a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over,
and gave her a bone of his own.
I'm a very bad man . . .
Humty-Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Craven, Have you been out doing late night drinking again?
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor daughter a dress.
When she got there
The cupboard was bare
And so was her daughter, I guess
I remebered old Pirates sell corn for a buck an ear.