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Tue 2 Dec, 2003 10:08 pm
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with his colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
BONUS QUESTION Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. However, one student wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are,we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that, "in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume in Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added."
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by a Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "that it would be a cold day in hell before I go to bed with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her,then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
when i was a teenager and going thru the turmoil my mother would always say i was the only one she ever knew that could make hell freeze over.
we won't mention hate's.....
Thanks for the interesting read, Ceili. I'd have given the student an 'A', too.
Hell freeze over?
When pigs fly . . .
I had to put up those big farmer cutouts on my windows because pigs kept flying into them. Man, that's messy.
When pigs fly, people will carry umbrellas alla time, and nostalgically yearn for the days when pidgeons were the only airborne sartorial menace . . .
Either that, or learn to use spears and bows again cuz, hey, free bacon.
Zat what they mean on the farm report when they say "pork belly futures are looking up"?
I'd give Ms. Banyan an A for a wise decision !
I'd get those pigs to carry Santy Claus around the world.
Been around for quite a while that one.
Yeah, I've seen it before. But it is a gem -- and I never tire of seeing it.
There was a similar one making the rounds a while back.
A physics professor (or philosophy professor) places a chair on the top of his desk -- and directs his students to write an essay showing that the chair is not really there.
The winning essay -- the only "A":
"What chair?"
Appears to be an
urban legend, along the same lines of the philosophy
final exam question "Why?" which the only "A" student answered "Because."
Read your Dante.... Hell is already frozen over.
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