No Funny One Liners

Forums: Existential Humor, Antihumor
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There is no letter 'O' on a standard telephone keypad, but there is a letter 'I'.

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A hail storm destroyed my garden.

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I need to iron a skirt for tonight.

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I am following Dudley Bowring.

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@Mame,

That happened to me once, except instead of an outhouse, it was a coconut.

The poison control people kept hanging up on me for some reason.

One of them asked if it slaked my thirst. I think it was meant as a joke, but I didn't laugh.

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@George,

I am leading, by George.

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One of my tires loses air, about ten pounds per week. Gonna take it back to the tire guy one of these days. (The air compressor at the local store now costs $1 to operate. That could get expensive.)

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@edgarblythe,

I can't afford a car.

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@edgarblythe,

ed, if you send me a tank, I will fill it and send it back.

(free of course, but for shipping and handling)

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@Rockhead,

The tank will cost more than to fix the tire, I think. 'Preciate the offer.

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@Dudley Bowring,

Neither can I. But, without one, I can't get back and forth to my job.

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The shaft of a Corinthian column has 24 flutes.

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From First Corinthians: 1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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@edgarblythe,

I miss the gong show. they should bring it back...

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@edgarblythe,

Si linguis hominum loquar et angelorum, caritatem autem non habeam,
factus sum velut aes sonans aut cymbalum tinniens.

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@George,

I've been to the gym today. It's filled with old Russian ladies and young gals sporting tramp stamps (there are also men, mostly older and Russian).

So far, no older Russian ladies with tramp stamps, but I remain on high alert for same.

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@edgarblythe,

You have a job? Wow, who knew?

Kevin has filled one of my refrigerator freezers with ugly little minnows. I think he plans on catching some fish for dinner, but... I ain't cleanin' 'em.

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The square of a right-triangle's hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of each of its sides.

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@Mame,

I labor for a full four hours per day. Haven't been off for illness in at least ten years.

No Funny One Liners

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